Christians & atheists & others - what's your advice to teenagers on ';young love';?

I just saw a question from a fairly young teenaged girl asking if God wanted her to be with her very young boyfriend, despite her parents' disapproval. She wanted only Christians to answer, and I didn't qualify.





But I wonder if R%26amp;S habitues of all faiths %26amp; non-faiths could address the question of just how far a young teenager ought to go with what she or he thinks of as ';the love of my life.';





There's a question of what God supposedly wants in these circumstances, but there's also a question of what is practical from a common sense perspective -- what's good or bad for, say, 13-16 year olds in terms of medical, psychological, social goods %26amp; bads.





Anybody have some serious replies to this? Question got deleted once, but I'm trying it in an altered form, since I think it may be an important one.Christians %26amp; atheists %26amp; others - what's your advice to teenagers on ';young love';?
I remember the intense feelings of the early teenage years. Dear young people- believe it or not, it won't kill you to wait a few years. Sex is powerful stuff and it can lead to a lot of emotional pain if you are not mature enough to cope with it. Don't put yourself in compromising situations; long talks behind closed doors can overcome the best intentions for chaste behaviour. If you do decide to become sexually active don't proceed without contraception. Condoms are good at protecting you from sexually transmitted diseases but are not, on their own, the best form of birth control. Look into the options available to you. The contraceptive pill is a good option for young women. But above all, I would like to ask you to think about what you are doing and not to rush into anything that could have life altering effects.Christians %26amp; atheists %26amp; others - what's your advice to teenagers on ';young love';?
God made commandment number three for a reason:


Honor you parents.





If her parents disapprove, then it is only because they are trying to take good care of her. They don't want her to suffer the consequences that may come with the boyfriend. Besides, she seems too young to really know the meaning of ';Love of my Life,'; and if they really do love eachother, they could wait until their older.
As a 15 year old myself, it's a bit hard to talk most of them out of doing what they want with their lover, oh lordy, trust me.... but you should inform them about protection and STD's and all of that, it's just that advice that keeps me from going at it, although I really want too, I'm not going to till I can get good protection cuz I know my parents aren't getting me on the pill and I don't want a baby yet!
I think at the ages of 13 and 14 it's basically limited to some boy at school who happens to be titled ';boyfriend,'; and there is only occasional getting together outside school. Physical interaction should be very basic...





15 on up...more in line with actual dating, but should still be age appreciate. Leave adult things to adults if you aren't old enough to handle adult responsibilities should things happen.
I don't think it should be too serious until later when they have seen more people, other options and weighed how hard the relationship is. So at that age I think love is fine but not something like marriage. There is still a lot to overcome. Though anything in the time is fine with me, like sex.


%26lt;3%26lt;3%26lt;3-Agnostic
No matter what her peers are saying, that decision is one that is too important to make at that age.





She needs to wait, at least until the age of 18, when she is out of high school, and on her own to make that decision.
have as much sex as you can while you are single because after you are married the frequency will go way down.
It's not love they feel. It's the hormones that are raging like a bull.
I remember being young and in love.





I think they should let nothing hold them back.
It's a chemical reaction in your brain. I rather not feed them all that BS.
hav as much kinky sex as u can cause once ur dead thas it
If they use a condom, go for it. Above age 16 anyway.
you'll live through it
enjoy it.
keep it in your pants
It depends on the maturity level of the young people in question. Are they mature enough to handle the emotional and physical risks that come with sex?





I met the man who would become my husband in high school. We dated and eventually had sex for the first time when I was 16, just about to turn 17. I have never regretted it. We were old enough and educated enough to safely explore our feelings for one another in a physical and sexual way. AND, despite everyone calling our relationship ';young love'; and ';puppy love,'; we stayed together and were married 6 years after we began dating so I have a rather optimistic view of love, even at a young age.





I would tell her to ask herself if she is fully ready to deal with everything that comes with sex. If the answer is no, then it's always best to wait a little longer. If the love is true, they will wait until you are ready.





Peace,


Jenn
there is no god.


Make love, not war, and not religion.


Thats my advice.


Love is our nature, and at young ages attraction is very very strong.


You just can not escape that strong urge to make love.


So dont. Its harmless, just make safer sex, not a good idea to get pregnant at 16.


In medicine, all doctors will tell you, making love is healthy, and not doint it can be harmfull. Prostate cancer as example can be avoided, if you ';use'; your prostate on regular basis....not just to avoid cancer, but exess fluid just must flow somewhere, and they should flow like designed by nature !


You should not try to cheat on nature, its painfull. Its like to not go to the toilett, if you must. pain. and harmfull.
They certainly shouldn't be pressured into sex at that age dispite what seems like the growing trend of society.





I think young love at the ages you mentioned should primarily be about friendship with the opposite sex. Its about feeling comfortable with yourself and being comfortable with another person. At that age both girls and boys should be focused on understanding what their expectations are in a relationship, especially if they are seeing that relationship as lasting for a long time.





I think kissing would be healthy and caresses and feeling each others bodies over their clothes, but I think that should be the limit. The clothes should stay on. I think if they approach things this way they will be better able to make mature decisions about how far they want to go with who at later times in their life.





I think God expects us to be loving of our partners and respect them as well as ourselves. This will ultimately fall by the wayside if sex is begun too soon.
I think relationships have changed so much in the past say 40 years. People used to be much more religious and their relationships used to involve god. look at how the divorce rate has gone up to close to 50%. that's something that many religions frown upon.





but for the 13 year old girl. Being a woman myself, I think your parents know best for you. although as teens we try to deny our parents and force ourselves to make our own path. I look back now and if my mother or father didn't like a boy friend, they always turned out to be right about them.
This is not a question that can be asked and answered in such a forum. There are too many issues and personalities involved, not the least of which is the TV and a completely unrealistic view of life, do-overs if you will, that is fostered within the TV generation(s).





However, if someone is willing to do some reading, there are answers to the questions. In Scribd.com, see;





Who Teaches The Children About Sex?


How Can I Say No to Sex at School?


What鈥檚 So Wrong With Telephone Sex?


How can girls guard against temptation in this sex-crazy world?


Sex鈥擶hich Advice Really Works?


Sex - Sinful? Immoral? Or not?


Sexual Morality鈥擨s It Really Possible?


The Sexual Revolution鈥檚 Dark Side





When there is some understanding on the subject, then there are a couple of more important issues that should be considered;





How Women Can Really Be Liberated


The Abortion Business鈥擜s a Doctor Sees It





And finally, why it is good to wait;





The Most Wonderful Thing in the World
I have a cousin, who fell in love when she was 12. By 13 she was a mother of a baby boy, one she almost died having. Her childhood was over, she had a child to care for. By 14 she was the mother of a second baby boy, once again she almost died, but this time she was so torn up she would no longer be able to have any more children. Both children have the same father, by the time she was 17 she had not heard from her children's father for 3 years. He was not there when she gave birth to either children, he was not there when they started talking, or were ill, or learning to walk.





She did not play volleyball or basketball, she never went to her prom. She was always broke and she shopped GOOD WILL, and was on welfare, and she spent a lot of time alone with her children.





She was a good mother, but she really had to work hard to be, and she gave up a lot of things she should not have had to, If she had not fallen in love or at least waited.





She worked really hard and is a nurses aid at a nursing home. Her children go to school and get A's. She met a nice guy, who asked her to get married, and adopted her children when she was 24. But she looks so old, she is happy now, but life can really wear you out.
Although rare, there are young couples that can make it. I am getting married to my High school sweet heart.So I really dislike the it's lust not love thing. My fiance and I have loved each other since we were 14 and 15. My fiance's mother hates me only because I ';took him away';. If he had taken her advice to get rid of me, we wouldn't be together!


I would question the reasons they don't want you to date, I suppose. Is he a bad guy? Will he hurt her or pressure her? If not, I think you need to follow your heart, and go for the guy.





I think that Respect is a two way street, even when parents are involved. They need to respect her choice, but she needs to hear their reasoning on why he's no good.
Basically, I will tell my kids that there is no need for them to rush into anything. They're still young and have all the time in the world for grown up things like love, intimacy, etc. Then I will explain to them that if they decide to take things to the next level, be safe/responsible and respectful to their partner. I'd discourage them from doing anything until they're at least seventeen or eighteen, but I'm not going to punish my kids for giving in to perfectly natural urges. I'd keep stressing the importance of safety and respect, above anything else.
im atheist, and i'm 12 years old. i believe that young love is beautiful. my sister met her husband when she was 15, and my brother met his wife when he was 19. i think they should date for at least a year before they have sex (if they do have sex). they should practice safe sex, and that should bring them closer, not further apart. they should only do it if they are truly in love, and care for each other more than anything else in the world.what their parents say should not make a difference in the world.