Any advice on how to separate love and sex, most people i know can and seem happy, i can't. why ?????

Cant believe i have just asked such a personal question to so many people but i am in need of all kinds of opinions as i find myself questioning my values and morals in life. No dirty and sexsest answers please, as i am being serious. When i look at what i believe in and the way i think about life something is just not feeling real anymore...Dont know if its how i am or just what i was led to believe.Any advice on how to separate love and sex, most people i know can and seem happy, i can't. why ?????
I was just having this conversation with God yesterday with the same question? I didn't know it was for you.


There is only one reasonyou are feeling this way. Everything, believe it or not, was created for a purpose-- even you.


'; For I know the plans I have for you, '; declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not harm you. To give you a hope and future.'; Jeremiah 29:11


Sex was for made for the coming together of a man and a woman but not outside of the marriage guidelines. Sex is a beautiful thing and even more beautiful when it is with someone who loves you despite your bad breath, messy hair. It is even more beautiful when that person is someone God has especially chosen for you and has strengths that you do not have and sees that a relationship with God is first priority and being everything that God has created him for as being part of that (loving husband, good provider, great father). This person does exist. Now that i know the truth of the matter in those people who might seem like they are happy are not happy they just have not been told by someone how special they are and that they are loved and accepted no matter their flaws. So they go with what everyone else or so they think, does. Sweetie, you are special and there is no reason for you to sell yourself cheap. You have been bought for a high price already and no one can pay as much as He can for your life. I wasn't a virgin when I got married, but everyday I wish that i could have waited. God didn't set up laws to punish us, but to protect us( needless hurt, pain, wasted time, disease and baby mama/daddy drama). There is no such thing as separating love and sex unless you have a heard heart or no heart at all. Don't try to fit into the world's standards-follow God's and he'll send you your true mate.


Jesus loves you.( now smile)Any advice on how to separate love and sex, most people i know can and seem happy, i can't. why ?????
Love lasts.


Sex does not.
personally its the ultimate way of showing love
Nymphomania is supposed to be about the undivided attention one gets


from their lover, rather than the actual sex! Sexual obsessions are more about


';thinking'; that is love, because most don't get any real affection from thier


';lovers';.
Do you wanna seperate love and sex? Is it what you really want?


Many people do that. Some enjoy and others regret. Do they look happy? Maybe not. Everyone says ';Others except me look happy';


What you really want and what you need in your life is just happiness. Some sex or love might hurt you, but it is just a small step and experience toward your real happiness. Do not hurry up. First step to be happy and meet a real soul mate is to love yourself. Listen to yourself and stroke your trauma gently. As much as you love yourself, others would love you.


I wish your happiness.
The people who separate love and sex are the people who do not care about the other person that they are with and commercial sex workers who will fall in the same bracket.


Sex is suppose to be a sacred thing.


I know that i cannot sex and emotion. Now i am not sure if you really do mean love or if it is feelings for the individual.


You can have sex with someone you care about. That will be an emotional connection but love is different.


Having sex with someone you like can make you love them simply because they may have taken you to state of mind that you never been in before and the only that you can explain is is by equating it with love.


Nothing is wrong with you. Sex means different things to different people. Do not come down on yourself at all for that. I am like that. Sometimes i just want to have fun. If you have sex with a friend that is the biggest separation of love and sex you will get.


For no emotion at all it would have to be with a stranger and then there is the risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
By abstaining from sex. That's the only way.





If two people (a couple) don't even hug or kiss and stay together for 5 or so years before marrying that tend to have geniune feelings for each other and know each other under the worst of circumstances.





Even after marriage there has to be an understanding of sex. Most men quickly find out they get less sex after marriage and then have to live with it, get divorced or take a mistress.





Understanding before marriage that sex is not an issue of marriage (it's about making babies, how many can you afford to raise and do you want to have, for when you have a baby your life end and the child's life begins and it stays that way for 20+ years) and that sex may only be an occasional thing.





If the man insists on having sex once or twice or even three times a day, a woman should know that in advance and decide if she wants to get into that type of a situation.





Technically a marriage is an understood contract and if two unmarried people engage in sex in each encounter, then it is expected that will continue within the marriage, hence now they you live together the encounter is daily.





Men need sex (discharge) women don't. Women need affection and closeness more. To a man that's just a tease. If sex is more important than anything else to the man and the wife doesn't provide it, he will eventually take any opportunity with anyone else willing to provide it. A woman has to decide if she wants to live with a man who is like that.





Hence abstance works. How many men would stay with a girl for 5 years and get nothing at all.





That used to be called courship.





Women used to make the big mistake of thinking if they provide sex, that'll lock the man into them (half true, most men get a lot less than they brag about), but if you do that you have to continue the process and if you have an over sexed husband the only way to keep him from straying (adultery) is to run his batteries down on a daily basis. Men who cannot perform do not attempt it for fear of ridicule! A wife can bring a man to a point where he cannot perform today and even has problems tomorrow, if she tries real hard.





Is that the life you want to live?





Men pick women based on how fast they get something, what she looks like and how his friends ooogle.





Women pick men based on his car, his job, his income, his looks, her psychological needs (love, a daddy, comfort) and how her friends ooogle.





Very shallow set of rules.
I don't really understand what you are asking. I think whether you can separate love and sex depends on your upbringing, your moral values and your self-esteem. Many people seem to be able to separate the two successfully and enjoy themselves initially but whether they will find deep satisfaction in their relationships over time is another thing. Many feel used and cheap but it has become a pattern they can't break. I think if you are brought up to believe that sex and love should not be separated and that you should only have sex within a stable, loving relationship, then you should continue to uphold this. You don't have to follow what everyone else seems to be doing.
I am glad to hear that you can't separate the two as they were never meant to be separate. Be thankful.
If I am understanding you correctly, you are asking how one might go about separating the emotions of love from the act of sex, so that one can have sex without the complications that the emotion of love might bring up.





Well simply put, practice; the more you have sex with people you don't love (and take an active role in not loving) the easier it will be. Of course, this does create a problem if you ever want the reverse (to have sex and love at the same time).





Not to say that this is a healthy approach by any means. I would liken it to separating the act of eating from the feeling of hunger; sex without love is like eating when you aren't hungry.





As for other people doing this and being happy, I am inclined to disbelieve that most people you know are truly happy (regardless of their sex and love lifes); this certainly goes against the national average. However, it might serve you well to actually ask them if they are happy (in general as well as in specific). You might find out that your supposition is wrong or you might find out their secret. Accurate knowledge is never a bad thing.
I sincerely believe sex is one important component of love. You can at anytime have sex without love but definitely not the other way around. I will sound totally hypocrite to fell in love with a woman without the benefit of sex because sex is the language of love. You can always satisfy your urge for sex easily but nothing can compare to what you will experience having sex with a person you love. Therefore, if you are in love it will be unfair to separate love from sex.
It's difficult...sex is the ultimate form of communication...and it's the ultimate in it's ability to open us up to other people and get close to them..Love also in many ways does the same things...the only real difference that I see is in the duration. Love takes more work and has higher returns...but sex seems to condense everything into mere minutes.


Do you mean that you can't love because you can't enjoy sex..or feel that you lack morals in the sexual department...Don't...above all life is meant to be enjoyed and cherised...you have every right to happiness..you have every right to enjoy your sexuality--that's what you have it for.
I think it is ok not to separate these two: sex and love - for some people - but they are different. In general for girls it is harder to keep them separated, and I think is nothing wrong with that, and it is not a problem unless she has an unfaithful boyfriend... but it happens, for some guys, to be good guys..:)
The feelings for family and friends, this can be considered as love.





Sex in its broadest definition is a physical act to feel good.
You have a sense of respect for a very intimate part of yourself. People who want sex without the commitment are wanting selfish pleasure....nothing more.


There are soooo many things one ';cannot'; do without appearing to love someone IE: sending love notes and flowers, holding hands and going for long walks, being a part of another person's family gatherings, wanting to be with someone a lot...oooohhh noooo !!! This is getting way into their personal space! But the same people have no problem taking one of the most intimate and personal actions and making use of it for their own pleasure.


We are made in a fashion to have these things called FEELINGS and this is just one more way the world is desensitizing and becoming more selfish and self-centered.
I don't think sex and love can be separated. The people I've met who seeem capable of doing that have shut off a part of themselves, the part that enables them to be truly initmate with someone. Deep, abiding initmacy involves emotion, trust, security, love, and is expressed fully through sex. Sex is meant to be a culmination of all we are and feel as humans. It's our most vulnerable time, when we are naked physically, emotionally and spiritually. When we attempt to turn it off and allow ourselves to be sexually involved for just the physical pleasure, we cheat ourselves and our partners from the very reason sex is so special and stimulating. Unfortunately, a lot of people use sex like drugs, just to feel good or temporarily feel loved. Inevitably, these encounters lead to emptiness and hurt after the ';high'; of the sexual pleasure is gone.





With all that said, I personally believe (although countless numbers will disagree), all of these reasons I've explained are why sex is meant for the sacred boundaries of marriage. Premarital sex, extramarital sex, etc. robs us and our spouse (or future spouse) of the gift sex is truly meant to be.