Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?

I am 6 months pregnant with our second child and I just learned when I got my internet hooked up my my husband immediately started watching porn. I found out because of that lovely history button to past sites. I had suspicion since he left lotion by the computer. Need I say more. I know he has viewed magazines in the past 11 years, and I've given him a piece of my mind about it, but this time it bothers me because I am not the fit person I use to be. But from my perspective I am not a huge pregnant lady. Just all belly. I never use to care because I felt there was no competition with a dirty girl in a magazine. I used to work out all the time and felt pretty good about myself. I know my hubby has issue with having sex with me being pregnant but I could use some advice with anyone in my predicament who may have gone or is going through the same thing. I am looking for positive advice only. I have never been through a problem like this before with my husband. I've talked to him about it and he's stopped but I'm still a little paranoid and insecure and any advice you could give would really help me out. Thanks for your answers.Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?
I'm a guy, that's going through the same exact situation that he is. The only difference is, you want it to change, my wife doesn't, because she doesn't care to listen.





It's pretty simple why married men watch porn.. And that's because their women don't please them as they should. Especially during this time. Men will take any kind of release you'll give. But he probably thinks you want your sexual space left alone because you have the baby (Natural guy reaction).





Easy solution to stop him from watching the porn, and I'm going to be totally honest with you:





1) Suck his **** when he feels the urge.


2) Get him off by other means.





Do that on a regular basis, and guaranteed he will fall (sensually) in love with you again. And you can watch that hobby of his go out the window. He feels that because you're pregnant, you want this barrier of non-sensual emotion. Fail to adhere this advice (Like most women would) and he will continue doing what he's doing.





90% of married men only want their women to be more freakier. Divorce, cheating.. That all comes into the picture when he isn't as satisfied, or thinks he can't satisfy you..





I used to cry myself to sleep (and I slept on the coach in defiance, most of the time) because my wife turned down sex with me all the time.. Amidst taking her out, buying her nice things, doing stuff we used to love to spark the romantic situation. All men really want is to not feel they're inadequate with their spouse. It hurts our hearts when we're turned down, or our wives don't have any emotion in bed. And that's when we look for porn as an escape.





Besides, you've been bakin' the oven cookie for six months, women who are pregnant are supposed to have some kind of extra drive -





I can tell you already that your husband is honest, and cares a lot about you, just by knowing he's watching porn. It's an indicator that he hasn't taken the next step, which is looking for avenues of an affair. My marriage is going to **** because I'm the only one trying to make it work, she isn't. You seem like the kind of woman that can definitely turn things out the way you want.





Oh! And congratulations on the baby.Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?
I think you're rediculous and you're complaining for no reason. Get over your insecurities, watch the porn together and enjoy the time that you have together before the baby comes.

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He has a hard time having sex with a pregnant woman, i would find this a healthy thing for him, would you put out as many times as he wants it?





I my self find a pregnant woman, very, very, sexy...I loved having sex with my wife when she was pregnant.





wouldn't worry about the porn...hell... join him.
Allow him to watch porn. All want this. It is common. It is enjoyable game created by god. Many times, I also watch porn. I want to see live porn. You can not check at all times. I can not check my son all the times. He may watch all.
well men will be men ...they make me sick cant even wait ..
He may not want to have sex with you, a lot of men dont want to have sex with a pregnant women, it has nothing to do with looks, or you getting bigger, its the idea of the baby down there,


You didnt mention if you had offered to take care of his needs.


If he is using porn, for sexual release, you shouldnt take it so serious, unless he is rejecting you for the porn, then you go a problem.


why not watch it together, and enjoy each other, you know
This is a very interesting question, although at one point you were okay with it. I never have been, and never will be. It has completely destroyed my self-esteem.


Everyone says it is normal just because most guys do it, but I don't think it's right. I don't think its right to watch other people have sex. I mean, why is it okay to see it on the computer, or dvds, but not okay to watch someone do it in real life. Also, everyone says, ';If you wouldn't do it in front of your spouse it's wrong.'; I think it goes for the same with porn. It's dirty, and gross. It makes me think less of men who do look at it.


If you love your woman and respect her, t hen you shouldn't need other women to sastify you, whether just looking or not. Although, once he has started, he prolly won't ever stop. As much as I try to accept it, I can't. I try not to let it get to me, because I do know that my boyfriend loves me, and when I'm with him he doesn't think of any of the girls he looks at online. It's just something for him to selfishly pleasure himself and you can't change it.


I'd talk to him about it, let him know how you feel. It was really embarrasing and awkward when I told my boyfriend it made me insecure. I have only found it once in 6 months since then and that was yesterday.
I know it is hard for women to get this (for some reason), and I got toasted from the anti porn crowd for saying this once, but men are visual and this has nothing to do with ';you'; unless it becomes some weird obsession. He has probably been masturbating to some kind of porn since he was a teenager and may be turning it up a notch because:





1. He is uncomfortable with having sex with his pregnant wife- a trip to the OB-GYN should calm that fear.





2. He is stressed out at the coming ';baby storm';; an event that he is not yet really vested in yet in the same way you are.





3. He has other stresses and this is a familiar outlet.





An orgasm releases ';feel good'; chemicals into the bloodstream that give him some relief from any of the above. He may not want to bother the woman that was experiencing morning sickness a few months ago or is lugging around a sack of flour under her shirt.





Whatever the reason, and if you are really up to it and IN TO IT....pay him a little extra attention ';down there'; and remember one thing.....Love your child with all your heart, but be IN LOVE with your husband. Remember you were his wife before you were their Mommy.
If you have talked to your husband about this matter and he has stopped watching porn..then you need to let this go and try to build the trust back into your relationship . If however you suspect he is still doing it..then you must talk to him again and explain in detail how it is making you feel. You are pregnant because he help to make you pregnant...so even if he only watched it once, and it caused you to feel the way you do..then it is a problem. If you don't learn to resolve theses problem now you will never be able to solve any problem you may hit in your relationship...and will spend the rest of your marriage fighting ...to have a good, healthy, happy , honest marriage...you must communicate,communicate,communicate.
My husband did this to me when I was pregnant and I went off and what are you going to do? Talk to him if he won't listen it's on him he might not think it's a big deal but you my dear you will never forget.


With this going on later on if more issues come up in the marriage it's just one of the main reasons to say enough is enough c-ya.





You can only wrong someone so much before they finally give up on you. Rather he is having issues with sex cuz your pregnant this isn't cool behavior at all. He should just be more thoughtful and respectful.





In my experience with the porn they will always say no I don't look at it later on and all this. But once they do it they never stop!

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