i was divorced a few months and have met the love of my life but he has never been married has no children and i have a 4yr old how do i get them use to each other.... we already discussed marriage he lives about two hours from me and my ex and i have joint custody...my guy now wants to stert spending the night while my son is at my house i don't know what to do Need advice on dating just divorced and have found the love of my life but.....?
First of all, you've only been divorced a few months, What are you doing dating already and not to mention already talking marriage. Can you say doomed to fail. Let me be the first to tell you the sleeping over thing wouldn't be good for your 4 year old to see. Your child is going through mom and dad not being in the same house and now some other guy is sleeping where dad once slept. You really need to step back here and slow down. Need advice on dating just divorced and have found the love of my life but.....?
I wouldn't have him start spending the night so soon, I would start by going on little outings like to the park or zoo, out to dinner. let your boyfriend know that things have to start out slow and if he really loves you he should respect your decision. Good luck, what a tough situation your in
Make sure your really trust this guy before he spends any alone time with your son. I went through the same thing a few years ago, I thought I was in love with this guy he wanted to watch my son while I was at work he ended up extremely jealouss of him and spanked him so hard he left bruises on his butt, I had to go to child services and then the police, WATCH OUT.
I too have found myself in this sort of situation in the past. Yes, it can be tricky, but not terrifying for your child if you handle it correctly. The most important thing is to make certain that your bedroom door locks. It may sound stupid, but your son doesn't need to walk into your room and see you with someone other than his daddy at this point.
As long as your new guy treats your son with respect and love, things should be fine. Don't expect either one of them to think it's a ideal situation. It will be an adjustment period for all of you.
Good Luck!
I don't recommend the spending the night thing. That just causes confusion for the child. All of you go to the park or to the movies? Go to the zoo. I def would not let him spend the night while the child is there. Not for a while anyway. Your child needs to get to know him first and establish a good relationship with him.
Start out slow. I would get your son used to him being around before you jump to letting him stay the night, especially if it's going to be frequent. Have him come over in the afternoon or something and see how he and your son interact. Your son is young enough to probably not really understand what's going on. I would check out some parenting websites for specifics on what to do.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You just got out of one marriage, and you're already planning on another? Slow down and make sure this isn't a rebound first. He definitely shouldn't be spending the night until your kid gets used to him, and that's going to take time. (And if he doesn't get that, you should really think hard about the kind of stepfather he's going to make.)
Well if you guys plan to get married, you need to get your son used to him by inviting your guy over for dinner and doing stuff with the 3 of you together. Usually, younger kids get used to boyfriends more than older kids. Good Luck!
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