Advice on how you got over your first love?

I am having a hard time copeing with the fact that me and my first love will never be anymore :( it is so hard because all I can think of are the things we did together


I broke off the relationship due to his drugs late night partying alcohol and wondering eyes





please help me with some advice





how did you get over your first love?


do you still think about them?


have you moved on and still think about them?


and any onther advice is apreciatedAdvice on how you got over your first love?
sure thing.


here's the story. it was awful.


it was horrible.


it was complicated and convoluted.


and I survived.





the scene: The first science team meeting of my freshman year, I came in relatively late, so there was only one seat left in the room, next to a girl in the center of the room. Well, I took that seat. My first thought about her was that she looked like she was a nice person—of course—a preconceived notion—but, it was, in that case right. It turned out that we had a very large amount in common, and that she was my upperclassperson buddy. Best dance partner I’ve ever had. And as, this setup would suggest I did fall in love with her.


This was September, I asked her out in February.


She said yes.


Of course, she’d later deny it. Unfortunately for her, Yahoo! Saves a copy of my e-mails—and I asked her out through e-mail. I was an ikle freshman then. And terribly afraid of what I was about to do. I’d been trying for a week or so, to get up the nerve to ask her, in person, but the right moment never presented itself, nor did my strength of will.


I’ll never do it again.


At least, not like that.


Early on, I perpetrated all the deadly sins of inexperienced dating, as you’ll notice. For example, I literally asked her to ‘go out’ with me. And we’re not going into my, well our first kiss. But for all my inexperience, she never seemed to mind—granted, she had none of her own either. And as far as I could tell, she seemed happy. And it seemed to me too that she loved me back.


Outward appearances can be deceiving.


Out of the blue, she dumped me. Two weeks before finals. Naturally, that left me reeling. I recovered.


And my now very former councilor, of course, came up to me, about a week later, and said to me “she said it was over, stop stalking her.” And I quote. That was the first day of finals week. And she had just started talking to me again.


When I asked her if she considered my presence stalking, she looked at me, in a rather odd way, and said no.


And of course, the strangest thing about our relationship, I suppose was that it continued, nearly exactly the same, after our, breakup, as it were. For months. She came over to my house. My family knew her well. And my sister was totally enthralled.


Then her parents found out, in a rather strange turn of events, when, she inexplicably vanished for about six hours, without a key to her house or a means of contacting anybody. Her mother called my mother. She who shan’t be named had been over earlier that day.


Soon after, began my sophomore, and her senior year. And we remained close for the beginning portion; I was, at that point, still desperately in love with her, and still trying, off and on, to restart a romantic relationship with her. During that time she also acted as one of my peer leaders. And we were close friends.


Of course unrequited love takes its toll. By December I was having some serious issues, and it all came to a head two days before the end of the term. In retrospect we think I was hypoglycemic, stressed, and overtired, as well as horridly depressed, partly because I recovered somewhat after eating lunch.


The long and the short of the incident is that in peer leading she showed affection to somebody else and none to me. And, naturally, that hurt like heck.


Due to this I ended up having nonspecific, not fully formed homicidal/suicidal ideations. I didn’t do anything. And I have, through that experience come to value life more than anything—even love. And that’s something, especially coming from a romantic.


Naturally I saw my psychiatrist immediately thereafter. Firstly, he says I’m normal, and I’d believe him, were I you. Secondly: he gives very good relationship advice. And of course, I ended up with a shiny new romantic interest. It worked out fairly well.


But of course, if it ended there, it wouldn’t be nearly so interesting.


No, no, it gets worse.


However, She Who Won’t be Named Herein, did not, unfortunately recognize that I had ceased to seek her out as a romantic interest, and still thought I was interested—or probably in her mind, out to get her.


This came to a head in February, at an Olympiad invitational when she more-or less blew up at me. Much in the same way a water main blows up. Quite catastrophic. Very wet. But quickly dealt with and repaired.


We ended up having an hour-long tearful (on both sides, mind) conversation about her fears about our relationship, or lack-there-of, and were fine with each other for several months.


and doing very well after a lovely party which we both attended (and I hosted). ok by party I mean, me, her and another (female) friend. it was very nice. the food was good. the ambiance was good.


Until, completely out of the blue my now former councilor declared that I was not to have any contact of any kind with she who shan’t be named. That, of course came as a bit of a surprise.


This was, once again, right around finals—it correlates.


At that time, I considered her my best friend—she who won’t be named—not my former councilor.


To sum up the ending of the saga:


I had some serious issues left over which took me a long time to sort out. They’re out-sorted now. And it’s changed somewhat my outlook. To pull in some song lyrics here ‘who can say/ if I have been changed for the better/ but I have been changed for good’ (please ignore the connotations)





One of my (male) friends asked her out over the summer. She said yes. Then about two months later, she dumped him. It wasn’t terribly surprising—only slightly sad.





so, how do I feel about her now? two years out? I hate her guts. but, I think it's a good thing I got rid of her because I really love my curent girlfriend. very very much.





tips?


don't stalk him. in any way. don't think about trying to get back togather. look at other men. look for other men (well, it was women in my case, but... the concept holds, mm?)


yes, I still think about her. I don't like her much. but that took a long time for me to get there...





at first, when she dumped me, I was shocked.


I was still terribly in love with her. for about six months afterwords. I never made myself get over her.


I would say, if I were you, force yourself to find somebody else.


don't try to get back togather.


try not to talk to them, contact them


look at them, think about them... the works?


I know it's imposible


but it's the fact that you tried :)





what got me out of that mode, was help from my psychiatrist after I became horridly depressed (because I hadn't moved on), he gave me tremendous relationship advice. and he told me, that I had, (shockingly...) been doing everything right. and that she was screwed up. we did some thinking about what was wrong with her... she's a _real_ headcase... family issues... freudian stuff... the works? anyway he helped me figure out which one of my friends I should seek out... regrettably, she was taken. (as I found out when I asked her out...) but, that step helped set me free of her...





or it started to.


I guess, on some level, it took a lot more flushing to get her out of my mind... toilet analogy. sorry... I'm in the ';I HATE YOUR GUTS!'; phase of dealing with rejection... I must say, it's the _most_ vicerally satisfying phase as of yet. the muse of profanity is with me indeed XD





anyway... good luck! if you have any other questions, or want any other advice on the topics, feel free to contact me through Y!A. :)Advice on how you got over your first love?
my first love broke it off with me, because he was DEEP into drugs and alcohol.. we talked off and on and I dated other guys he dated and slept with other girls.. 5 or 6 years later we are married... You don't ever forget your first love.. You never REALLY get over them either.. but you move on.. maybe stay friends with them just don't get into like.. Friends with benefits.. that won't work it just emotionally hurts worse! The best advice is stop trying to forget about him and be friends with him and if you can't take that then back off and date other guys.. it's gunna be really hard at first.. but it will all work out.. no doubt!





Good luck!!
All loves are hard to forget and get over not just the first. Yes it is hard but try to fill your day with anything constructive. School, work, helping someone in need, Take walks and look at all that the world has to offer. There is a reason for everything. Time will heal. Most of all, talk to a good friend.
sorry bout u never forget over your first love because its your first but that doesnt mean the pain wont heal over but dont expect to just forget every memorie and thing you guys did together because you wont but after time youll remeber but wont care as much especially if u find a better guy. i hope this helps
i never did i kept them in my heart but i moved on by telling myself that no matter how hard i try it's something i lost that i could never get back, all i can do now is hope for a better tomorrow as corny as that soudned
you kinda sound like my best friend. she is still in love with her first love. hell neither can i. I didn't think anyone can 4get them its been a long tie since i have talked to mine and i always think about him.
well y first love wuz perfect and didnt do any of tht stuff but insted he moved across the usa be cuz of his parents job so thx for posting the question cuz now i can get some answers:)