As they are usually older men, he will have tons of advice but be reluctant to offer it. You may have to ask a couple times. Of course, if he gives you the suggestion on how to fix it and you fix the problems before the last day--He will offer to MARRY you!
That would be coolIf I go on a cruise and ask the ship's captain for 'love advice', what do you think he'll say to me?
I agree with jds...why the heck would he care? let him be, so he can take care of the ship...and how would you get to him? he's almost always on the bridge, and there are security offcers everywhereIf I go on a cruise and ask the ship's captain for 'love advice', what do you think he'll say to me?
he' ll probably smile and say something totally removed from the question such as '; are you enjoy ing your cruise? where are you from'; LOL
You wouldn't even get near the captain. So don't worry about asking him.
I don't understand why you would ask the captain. Do you think he/she is capable of giving love advice? Ask someone else and leave the captain alone to safely guide the ship.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I'm in Love with an alcoholic...... Any Advice on how to deal with ups and downs??
My live in boyfriend is a functioning alcoholic. He is great when he's not under the influence, very normal, loving and caring ( and even when he's only had a few) but when he's drunk it's like Dr. Jjeckle and Mr. Hyde. He's Horrible! He says awful demeaning things and acts like he hates me. The next morning he doesn't even remember acting up and the nice guy is back. This happens on a nightly basis! How can I separate the man from the disease and learn to not take this to heart?I'm in Love with an alcoholic...... Any Advice on how to deal with ups and downs??
Everyone is different. HE is the person that has to find the solution though. You can help %26amp; support him.
Alcohol makes people's minds play tricks on them in subtle as well as blatant ways.
All I can suggest is patience, as much as you can. He might fail 100 times - he only needs to succeed ONCE. Even if he falls off the wagon later, just get right back on.
After 10 years of increasing drinking, I quit last year, when I became a Buddhist. I just stopped on Halloween %26amp; haven't even been tempted since. My problem was being obsessive %26amp; not being able to let go of problems I had no solution for. Buddhist meditation allows me to let go - so now I have no issues at all.
It is individual, it is different for everyone and it is possible.
Good Luck.I'm in Love with an alcoholic...... Any Advice on how to deal with ups and downs??
What.....did i miss something?
Is he the last man on earth?
If you stay with him...you are headed down a long,miserable road.It will be just a matter of time before the abuse starts.Then you put on a mask where you say you think are happy but deep down you are hurting (emotionally).There are plenty of men out there that will treat alot better than he will.
The bad will outweigh the good.
Keep moving on....forget him.
Without going into great lengths, I want to tell you this: It's important to recognize that he does indeed have a problem. Have you talked to him about this at all? If so, how did he react? Did he blow you off or does he himself admit to his disease. AA is the best start for your boyfriend. A treatment center--inpatient--is better. As for you, you can't go on living this way. Love him or not, you are enabling his behavior to continue and in essence ';feeding'; his addiction by staying around and helping him and putting up with his behavior. You should find a local al-anon meeting and attend. It is for loved ones of alcoholics. Take the first step now.
Good luck.
The only way things can get better is for your boyfriend to be a recovering alcoholic and not an active one. If he continues to drink things will only get worse not better. There are only three possible outcomes when someone drinks that much:
1. Rehab
2. Jail
3. Death
Help him get to rehab now before one of the other two outcomes happens first.
I suggest you both attend either Alcoholics Annonymous or enroll in a Teen Challenge chapter. Both have proven records of helping people recover and stay sober and also have ways of helping the victims who need support as well.
If he refuses to get help, drop him, move out or make him move out and find someone who doesn't have this kind of problem. Sooner or later, without treatment, he will become physically abusive and you will become battered and bruised. Get out of the situation now before it gets worse.
I thinbk you both also need to find out what true love really is and isn't. Read in the Bible I Corinthians 13 ';The Love Chapter'; where it says love is patient and kind and seeks not its own way at the expense of others. It isn't boastful or proud and always believes in the positive. This love is such that it will gladly give its own life to save the life of another. It says of faith, hope and love that the greatest is love. It is this kind of love that has kept my wife and I married for over 28 years. It takes both partners working on it to be successful and if one isn't going to commit to it and work it out, then the relationship is doomed to fail. Not having this kind of love is the main reason why the divorce rate is so high.
If your BF isn't going to get treatment and/or counseling and work towards real love, dump him. I then suggest that you find a Bible believing church and join the singles group there. You will find that most people there will be following the principles listed above and you will have the support you need in the face of crisis.
You can't. It's an insane roller-coaster ride and it doesn't get better. Speaking from experience. Married to one. Lord knows I've tried to block out 1/2 of our life together trying to make sense of it. Doesn't work. Can't make sense out of insanity no matter how you try. Trying to get the courage to end it myself so I know what you're feeling. Previous advice was the best. Just alot easier said than done. Without treatment.....you're only pro-longing the inevidable. Now it's saying hurtful things...next it's jobs and family and money and lord knows what else. But mines like yours....he doesn't remember it.....so no big deal. But it is a big deal and it eats away at you like a cancer. Get out and get help ..... it's effecting you more than you know.
You can't he is married to his alcohol. He needs counselling, maybe treatment and AA. Most people that are involved in these relationships are co-dependant and enablers to the alcoholic. I recommend you go to AL-Non and a counsellor to help you through this. Mentally healthy people attrack healthy minds.
heelo what a nitemare you are in i was with a functional alcoholis for 17 years and we have three children. You need to realize you can't fix him and you definitely can't change someone who doesn't want to change. It only took me 17 years to figure this out and my children are the ones that suffered for it because i would lie to them in regards to their father and the things they remember my god i wish i could turn back time and change all of it the few good memories are not worth all the bad ones and the scaars mentally you should never have to endure. Please take heed in what i am saying to you and i will pray for you god bless and take care of your number 1 priority which is you and your children but the number one priority is you believe it or not cause if you are not alright than who do they have
He needs to stop drinking, go to treatment, get a sponsor. All that. If not, you're in a losing battle. Ask him to get help or have him leave till he does. I know that just made you mad and scared, but the truth is the truth. You are hurting both him and yourself if you don;t make a demand to get help. You, in the meantime, could check out some ALANON meetings. This will give you an entire new perspective on the whole situation.
Best of luck!
Break up w/ him and stay away unless he totally stops drinking for a long period of time. You can't marry a man like this, think of future children. What if you were to get pregnant right now? You will have many an argument about money =(.
Everyone is different. HE is the person that has to find the solution though. You can help %26amp; support him.
Alcohol makes people's minds play tricks on them in subtle as well as blatant ways.
All I can suggest is patience, as much as you can. He might fail 100 times - he only needs to succeed ONCE. Even if he falls off the wagon later, just get right back on.
After 10 years of increasing drinking, I quit last year, when I became a Buddhist. I just stopped on Halloween %26amp; haven't even been tempted since. My problem was being obsessive %26amp; not being able to let go of problems I had no solution for. Buddhist meditation allows me to let go - so now I have no issues at all.
It is individual, it is different for everyone and it is possible.
Good Luck.I'm in Love with an alcoholic...... Any Advice on how to deal with ups and downs??
What.....did i miss something?
Is he the last man on earth?
If you stay with him...you are headed down a long,miserable road.It will be just a matter of time before the abuse starts.Then you put on a mask where you say you think are happy but deep down you are hurting (emotionally).There are plenty of men out there that will treat alot better than he will.
The bad will outweigh the good.
Keep moving on....forget him.
Without going into great lengths, I want to tell you this: It's important to recognize that he does indeed have a problem. Have you talked to him about this at all? If so, how did he react? Did he blow you off or does he himself admit to his disease. AA is the best start for your boyfriend. A treatment center--inpatient--is better. As for you, you can't go on living this way. Love him or not, you are enabling his behavior to continue and in essence ';feeding'; his addiction by staying around and helping him and putting up with his behavior. You should find a local al-anon meeting and attend. It is for loved ones of alcoholics. Take the first step now.
Good luck.
The only way things can get better is for your boyfriend to be a recovering alcoholic and not an active one. If he continues to drink things will only get worse not better. There are only three possible outcomes when someone drinks that much:
1. Rehab
2. Jail
3. Death
Help him get to rehab now before one of the other two outcomes happens first.
I suggest you both attend either Alcoholics Annonymous or enroll in a Teen Challenge chapter. Both have proven records of helping people recover and stay sober and also have ways of helping the victims who need support as well.
If he refuses to get help, drop him, move out or make him move out and find someone who doesn't have this kind of problem. Sooner or later, without treatment, he will become physically abusive and you will become battered and bruised. Get out of the situation now before it gets worse.
I thinbk you both also need to find out what true love really is and isn't. Read in the Bible I Corinthians 13 ';The Love Chapter'; where it says love is patient and kind and seeks not its own way at the expense of others. It isn't boastful or proud and always believes in the positive. This love is such that it will gladly give its own life to save the life of another. It says of faith, hope and love that the greatest is love. It is this kind of love that has kept my wife and I married for over 28 years. It takes both partners working on it to be successful and if one isn't going to commit to it and work it out, then the relationship is doomed to fail. Not having this kind of love is the main reason why the divorce rate is so high.
If your BF isn't going to get treatment and/or counseling and work towards real love, dump him. I then suggest that you find a Bible believing church and join the singles group there. You will find that most people there will be following the principles listed above and you will have the support you need in the face of crisis.
You can't. It's an insane roller-coaster ride and it doesn't get better. Speaking from experience. Married to one. Lord knows I've tried to block out 1/2 of our life together trying to make sense of it. Doesn't work. Can't make sense out of insanity no matter how you try. Trying to get the courage to end it myself so I know what you're feeling. Previous advice was the best. Just alot easier said than done. Without treatment.....you're only pro-longing the inevidable. Now it's saying hurtful things...next it's jobs and family and money and lord knows what else. But mines like yours....he doesn't remember it.....so no big deal. But it is a big deal and it eats away at you like a cancer. Get out and get help ..... it's effecting you more than you know.
You can't he is married to his alcohol. He needs counselling, maybe treatment and AA. Most people that are involved in these relationships are co-dependant and enablers to the alcoholic. I recommend you go to AL-Non and a counsellor to help you through this. Mentally healthy people attrack healthy minds.
heelo what a nitemare you are in i was with a functional alcoholis for 17 years and we have three children. You need to realize you can't fix him and you definitely can't change someone who doesn't want to change. It only took me 17 years to figure this out and my children are the ones that suffered for it because i would lie to them in regards to their father and the things they remember my god i wish i could turn back time and change all of it the few good memories are not worth all the bad ones and the scaars mentally you should never have to endure. Please take heed in what i am saying to you and i will pray for you god bless and take care of your number 1 priority which is you and your children but the number one priority is you believe it or not cause if you are not alright than who do they have
He needs to stop drinking, go to treatment, get a sponsor. All that. If not, you're in a losing battle. Ask him to get help or have him leave till he does. I know that just made you mad and scared, but the truth is the truth. You are hurting both him and yourself if you don;t make a demand to get help. You, in the meantime, could check out some ALANON meetings. This will give you an entire new perspective on the whole situation.
Best of luck!
Break up w/ him and stay away unless he totally stops drinking for a long period of time. You can't marry a man like this, think of future children. What if you were to get pregnant right now? You will have many an argument about money =(.
Confused and scared that I've lost the love of my life? Any advice on what to do?
I'm a sensitive guy. Me and my gf just broke up but we can't stop talking to each other over the phone/email/etc. We miss each other and still love each other. The problem was that I found other women good-looking and in some cases liked features about them more than my gf. This made both of us feel bad/guilty/paranoid/hurt. I never wanted to be with anyone else, though. She was my first real relationship and my only love. She had several bf's before me but she's told me this was the best she had ever had. She's 4 yrs older (I'm 23, she's 27). I really do love her but I don't want to compare her looks to other people's and think that someone looks better in a certain way. I know that's not fair. I realize that looks aren't everything but she expects me to think that she is the most beautiful woman in the world (based on looks alone) and that puts pressure on me. I've made some mistakes and I'm not perfect but I love this girl %26amp; would never cheat on her. Right now I'm just confused.Confused and scared that I've lost the love of my life? Any advice on what to do?
First of all, she needs to realize you are a male and males will ALWAYS look and make comparisons. It sounds like she's a little insecure and needs to know for herself that she is beautiful without needing a man to tell her so. I don't think that you should feel guilty for looking at someone else or liking parts of another female, as long as it is just looking. If you both believe that you were 'made' for each other, than you'll make it work and get over the adolescent insecurities. You were right in saying that looks aren't everything - if her personality fits yours and you guys 'click' well, I wouldn't let go of that for the most beautiful person in the world. Outside beauty is only skin deep.......Confused and scared that I've lost the love of my life? Any advice on what to do?
Man, I know how you feel. I had this same problem a long time ago. I dated a girl for nearly 3 years, but could not help but admire the looks of other women. Just a glance or a thought, nothing more. In return, my gf's self-esteem went downhill.
We broke up and since then I have long realized that I screwed up. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can date a girl and other women (no matter what they look like or what they're wearing) don't even phase me in the least. I don't judge people's looks anymore.
I've even been on the other side of it - this one girl sometimes commented on other men's looks (if I asked her or not) and I then knew how shitty it feels. I date a lot now, and I've changed my ways, but no matter how many girls I date no one compares to the one I lost long ago.
She's moved on, and here I am 32, single, miserable, and lonely. I regret losing her over something that I thought I had no control over at the time (when in fact I did). I was just a jerk, and now I have a life full of regret. Do what you need to get this girl back - before you wind up like me.
And don't listen to the morons on here who say you did nothing wrong and that it's normal - trust me, they only say that because they do the same thing you do and are trying to make themselves feel better. You have to listen to your own heart, not what friends, family, and strangers tell you.
You rewarded the wrong person with the ';best answer';. Did you READ any of these other comments?! Listen to these people. You should not compare your gf to anyone! You really should find her the most beautiful. You will learn this over time, but by then it will be too late.
Why on earth have you given up on true love? Here's what you do - get her back, tell her what she needs to hear (that she IS the most beautiful), and then hang on to her for dear life. Is this really worth losing the best thing that may ever happen to you? Listen to Randy, happihaw,and educatio
I can't believe you gave up on true love! There are tons of people in this world that will NEVER experience that, let alone experience that twice. If you both miss each other and love each other, then get back together!
Was this the only problem you had? If so, breaking up was not the right thing to do. The right thing would have been to work things out the best you could. I bet, with time, you will stop looking at other girls and she'll feel more secure (nobody should be compared)
Again, there are some messed up chicks out there (they lie, cheat, steal, are only into men w/money, drugs, bitchy, the list goes on) - if this was a good woman w/ good values then why give up on her?
I'd say get over your guilt problem and make her feel like the terrific woman she is. Sounds like you really were happy w/her and loved her. Don't ditch her just so you can be free to view other women. Prob not worth it. Very few good women still left in this world.
Sad. Really sad. Not only did you ruin your g/f's self-esteem, but then you broke up so that you could look at other women and not feel bad/guilty/etc?! How selfish. Okay, so now you can look and not hurt anyone's feelings. Then what? Seems you thru away a perfectly good relationship.
Adam - not to mention the women who are already married, engaged, lesbian, or taken. Then rule out the ones you aren't attracted to or will never even get a chance to meet or don't like you back! This girl loved you and you loved her - don't take that for granted.
If you are that confused, you don't need to be in a relationship now. If you like a girl that much, you need to like and accept all of her and not compare her to others and not think the grass is greener on the otherside. You are making her feel inadequate and that will lower her self esteem. You need to work on yourself before you can be in a relationship.
hmmm... seems in some corner of ur heart u never appreciated ur gf's looks u alwayz dreamed of some beautiful women as ur gf... now as u have found every thing in her except looks , first u were happy but now when u came accross some one who has fallen on u n is beautiful u started comparing ur gf n the other ones looks...
seems u r crazy abt looks... but from ur details it seems u love ur 1st gf more than the second n thats the reason u dont wanna hurt her...
n man every women wishes her man to consider her as the most beautiful one on earth thats not a new thing....
but as u both love each other even after the crises... i would say dont breakup just coz of looks....n yeah if u were satisfied with the 2nd gf u wouldnt have asked this Q...
Dont leave ur 1st gf!!!!!
follow your heart imean you only have one life to live.
And temptation is all around. Be careful
Sounds like you need to stop spending so much time together. Take a week or two to yourself without seeing or talking to your girlfriend. This will help you realize how you really feel, because it seems to me that you may be looking to go in another direction.
that's rough.
i think it's healthy for people to look at the opposite sex, even if you're in a relationship. in my relationship, i tell my boyfriend to look at other chicks to see what he thinks of them, so we can both judge them together (lol), but hey that's just me.
she should realize that you'd never cheat on her and it's okay to look at other women...it's not like you fantasize about them or go after them. you shouldn't feel guilty about looking at other women. there are some gorgeous chicks out there, not to say your girlfriend isn't pretty, or you don't find her beautiful, but everyone has a certain level of beauty and it depends on how she (and you) perceive it.
good luck. the love is still there, it never left. work for it and compromise.
You need to stop voicing what you think of other women. Your ex girlfriend knows that she isn't the most beautiful woman in the world, but she needed to hear that she was the most beautiful woman from you. It's just a thought, but if the boot was on the other foot, would you care for your girlfriend making comparisons between you and handsomer men? It really does bash the confidence.
If you love each other you will resolve this. Or maybe you need time apart so you can see other women, and hopefully discover that your soul mate comes down to more than looks.
I hope everything works out for you.
i see the love is still there between you guys, but her expecting you not to judge when we live in a world where everything is compared to something else its hard not to. you need to let her know that your just looking (im sure she has) and NOTHING will happen. and if she love and trust you than that should be enough.
First off, perhaps you need to take a step back and look at yourself.....unless you are Brad Pitt....you probably have some physical attribute that she might want to be different....HMMM??? But from what you have told she is not looking at other guys and wanting you to look more like them. No one is perfect and our society has brainwashed men in to idealizing the PERFECT WOMEN through constant imaging of such women (i.e. Victoria Secret models and Movie Stars). These women are the exception, and some of them only look that good because of technology!!!
If you TRULY love her you WILL think she is the most beautiful person in the world by looking past her flaws and accepting her for who she is, and for all of the reasons you fell in love with her. And even if she is not the most beautiful women in the world.....MAKE HER FEEL AS THOUGH SHE IS!!
And if she is your TRUE LOVE, do not wait long, or it may be too late.....as someone else may realize how truly beautiful she is!
GOOD LUCK!
First of all, she needs to realize you are a male and males will ALWAYS look and make comparisons. It sounds like she's a little insecure and needs to know for herself that she is beautiful without needing a man to tell her so. I don't think that you should feel guilty for looking at someone else or liking parts of another female, as long as it is just looking. If you both believe that you were 'made' for each other, than you'll make it work and get over the adolescent insecurities. You were right in saying that looks aren't everything - if her personality fits yours and you guys 'click' well, I wouldn't let go of that for the most beautiful person in the world. Outside beauty is only skin deep.......Confused and scared that I've lost the love of my life? Any advice on what to do?
Man, I know how you feel. I had this same problem a long time ago. I dated a girl for nearly 3 years, but could not help but admire the looks of other women. Just a glance or a thought, nothing more. In return, my gf's self-esteem went downhill.
Report Abuse
We broke up and since then I have long realized that I screwed up. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can date a girl and other women (no matter what they look like or what they're wearing) don't even phase me in the least. I don't judge people's looks anymore.
Report Abuse
I've even been on the other side of it - this one girl sometimes commented on other men's looks (if I asked her or not) and I then knew how shitty it feels. I date a lot now, and I've changed my ways, but no matter how many girls I date no one compares to the one I lost long ago.
Report Abuse
She's moved on, and here I am 32, single, miserable, and lonely. I regret losing her over something that I thought I had no control over at the time (when in fact I did). I was just a jerk, and now I have a life full of regret. Do what you need to get this girl back - before you wind up like me.
Report Abuse
And don't listen to the morons on here who say you did nothing wrong and that it's normal - trust me, they only say that because they do the same thing you do and are trying to make themselves feel better. You have to listen to your own heart, not what friends, family, and strangers tell you.
Report Abuse
You rewarded the wrong person with the ';best answer';. Did you READ any of these other comments?! Listen to these people. You should not compare your gf to anyone! You really should find her the most beautiful. You will learn this over time, but by then it will be too late.
Report Abuse
Why on earth have you given up on true love? Here's what you do - get her back, tell her what she needs to hear (that she IS the most beautiful), and then hang on to her for dear life. Is this really worth losing the best thing that may ever happen to you? Listen to Randy, happihaw,and educatio
Report Abuse
I can't believe you gave up on true love! There are tons of people in this world that will NEVER experience that, let alone experience that twice. If you both miss each other and love each other, then get back together!
Report Abuse
Was this the only problem you had? If so, breaking up was not the right thing to do. The right thing would have been to work things out the best you could. I bet, with time, you will stop looking at other girls and she'll feel more secure (nobody should be compared)
Report Abuse
Again, there are some messed up chicks out there (they lie, cheat, steal, are only into men w/money, drugs, bitchy, the list goes on) - if this was a good woman w/ good values then why give up on her?
Report Abuse
I'd say get over your guilt problem and make her feel like the terrific woman she is. Sounds like you really were happy w/her and loved her. Don't ditch her just so you can be free to view other women. Prob not worth it. Very few good women still left in this world.
Report Abuse
Sad. Really sad. Not only did you ruin your g/f's self-esteem, but then you broke up so that you could look at other women and not feel bad/guilty/etc?! How selfish. Okay, so now you can look and not hurt anyone's feelings. Then what? Seems you thru away a perfectly good relationship.
Report Abuse
Adam - not to mention the women who are already married, engaged, lesbian, or taken. Then rule out the ones you aren't attracted to or will never even get a chance to meet or don't like you back! This girl loved you and you loved her - don't take that for granted.
Report Abuse
If you are that confused, you don't need to be in a relationship now. If you like a girl that much, you need to like and accept all of her and not compare her to others and not think the grass is greener on the otherside. You are making her feel inadequate and that will lower her self esteem. You need to work on yourself before you can be in a relationship.
hmmm... seems in some corner of ur heart u never appreciated ur gf's looks u alwayz dreamed of some beautiful women as ur gf... now as u have found every thing in her except looks , first u were happy but now when u came accross some one who has fallen on u n is beautiful u started comparing ur gf n the other ones looks...
seems u r crazy abt looks... but from ur details it seems u love ur 1st gf more than the second n thats the reason u dont wanna hurt her...
n man every women wishes her man to consider her as the most beautiful one on earth thats not a new thing....
but as u both love each other even after the crises... i would say dont breakup just coz of looks....n yeah if u were satisfied with the 2nd gf u wouldnt have asked this Q...
Dont leave ur 1st gf!!!!!
follow your heart imean you only have one life to live.
And temptation is all around. Be careful
Sounds like you need to stop spending so much time together. Take a week or two to yourself without seeing or talking to your girlfriend. This will help you realize how you really feel, because it seems to me that you may be looking to go in another direction.
that's rough.
i think it's healthy for people to look at the opposite sex, even if you're in a relationship. in my relationship, i tell my boyfriend to look at other chicks to see what he thinks of them, so we can both judge them together (lol), but hey that's just me.
she should realize that you'd never cheat on her and it's okay to look at other women...it's not like you fantasize about them or go after them. you shouldn't feel guilty about looking at other women. there are some gorgeous chicks out there, not to say your girlfriend isn't pretty, or you don't find her beautiful, but everyone has a certain level of beauty and it depends on how she (and you) perceive it.
good luck. the love is still there, it never left. work for it and compromise.
You need to stop voicing what you think of other women. Your ex girlfriend knows that she isn't the most beautiful woman in the world, but she needed to hear that she was the most beautiful woman from you. It's just a thought, but if the boot was on the other foot, would you care for your girlfriend making comparisons between you and handsomer men? It really does bash the confidence.
If you love each other you will resolve this. Or maybe you need time apart so you can see other women, and hopefully discover that your soul mate comes down to more than looks.
I hope everything works out for you.
i see the love is still there between you guys, but her expecting you not to judge when we live in a world where everything is compared to something else its hard not to. you need to let her know that your just looking (im sure she has) and NOTHING will happen. and if she love and trust you than that should be enough.
First off, perhaps you need to take a step back and look at yourself.....unless you are Brad Pitt....you probably have some physical attribute that she might want to be different....HMMM??? But from what you have told she is not looking at other guys and wanting you to look more like them. No one is perfect and our society has brainwashed men in to idealizing the PERFECT WOMEN through constant imaging of such women (i.e. Victoria Secret models and Movie Stars). These women are the exception, and some of them only look that good because of technology!!!
If you TRULY love her you WILL think she is the most beautiful person in the world by looking past her flaws and accepting her for who she is, and for all of the reasons you fell in love with her. And even if she is not the most beautiful women in the world.....MAKE HER FEEL AS THOUGH SHE IS!!
And if she is your TRUE LOVE, do not wait long, or it may be too late.....as someone else may realize how truly beautiful she is!
GOOD LUCK!
My on line love slave is a school librarian in texas who is addicted to Yahoo Answers. Any advice?
there are worse addictions. congrats on the love slaveMy on line love slave is a school librarian in texas who is addicted to Yahoo Answers. Any advice?
=] just let her be!!! Lol!!!My on line love slave is a school librarian in texas who is addicted to Yahoo Answers. Any advice?
She sounds really hot, you must be one lucky guy!!!!
=] just let her be!!! Lol!!!My on line love slave is a school librarian in texas who is addicted to Yahoo Answers. Any advice?
She sounds really hot, you must be one lucky guy!!!!
I'm in a love triangle and I need advice on what I should do.?
In October my girlfriend of two months decided to break up with me. I was devestated. It took me several months to get over her. Now I've fallen in love with this other girl, who happens to be completely straight. She knows how I feel and is okay with it---she's still my very best friend. But the same night I found out she wouldn't go out with me, my ex decided to ask me out..I was hurting and she told me she loved me so I said yes and now we're together again. I still love her, but I'm not attracted to her. I care for her, but I don't really want to be with her..but I do at the same time, just not like I did before. What should I do? I don't have any chance with the other girl, but my girlfriend really doesn't do it for me. Please help! I'm so lost!!I'm in a love triangle and I need advice on what I should do.?
give up on both of them, and throw yourself back out there.I'm in a love triangle and I need advice on what I should do.?
YOUR feelings for the ex is not the same, dont be so desperate see other people, YOU need to be more secure WHY must you have someone in your life you act like these are the only 2 women on earth, OR are you really that INSECURE, If so, you are in for a miserable life...
if your heart isn't in it the way you would like it to be ,then get rid of her,its her lost from the get go
Get back on the market man..
I love triangles...and trapezoids, too. Anyway, just be honest with the girl that you're doing. As long as you're upfront, she can't call you a jerk when you finally dump her lame @ss.blush color makeup video
give up on both of them, and throw yourself back out there.I'm in a love triangle and I need advice on what I should do.?
YOUR feelings for the ex is not the same, dont be so desperate see other people, YOU need to be more secure WHY must you have someone in your life you act like these are the only 2 women on earth, OR are you really that INSECURE, If so, you are in for a miserable life...
if your heart isn't in it the way you would like it to be ,then get rid of her,its her lost from the get go
Get back on the market man..
I love triangles...and trapezoids, too. Anyway, just be honest with the girl that you're doing. As long as you're upfront, she can't call you a jerk when you finally dump her lame @ss.
Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?
I am 6 months pregnant with our second child and I just learned when I got my internet hooked up my my husband immediately started watching porn. I found out because of that lovely history button to past sites. I had suspicion since he left lotion by the computer. Need I say more. I know he has viewed magazines in the past 11 years, and I've given him a piece of my mind about it, but this time it bothers me because I am not the fit person I use to be. But from my perspective I am not a huge pregnant lady. Just all belly. I never use to care because I felt there was no competition with a dirty girl in a magazine. I used to work out all the time and felt pretty good about myself. I know my hubby has issue with having sex with me being pregnant but I could use some advice with anyone in my predicament who may have gone or is going through the same thing. I am looking for positive advice only. I have never been through a problem like this before with my husband. I've talked to him about it and he's stopped but I'm still a little paranoid and insecure and any advice you could give would really help me out. Thanks for your answers.Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?
I'm a guy, that's going through the same exact situation that he is. The only difference is, you want it to change, my wife doesn't, because she doesn't care to listen.
It's pretty simple why married men watch porn.. And that's because their women don't please them as they should. Especially during this time. Men will take any kind of release you'll give. But he probably thinks you want your sexual space left alone because you have the baby (Natural guy reaction).
Easy solution to stop him from watching the porn, and I'm going to be totally honest with you:
1) Suck his **** when he feels the urge.
2) Get him off by other means.
Do that on a regular basis, and guaranteed he will fall (sensually) in love with you again. And you can watch that hobby of his go out the window. He feels that because you're pregnant, you want this barrier of non-sensual emotion. Fail to adhere this advice (Like most women would) and he will continue doing what he's doing.
90% of married men only want their women to be more freakier. Divorce, cheating.. That all comes into the picture when he isn't as satisfied, or thinks he can't satisfy you..
I used to cry myself to sleep (and I slept on the coach in defiance, most of the time) because my wife turned down sex with me all the time.. Amidst taking her out, buying her nice things, doing stuff we used to love to spark the romantic situation. All men really want is to not feel they're inadequate with their spouse. It hurts our hearts when we're turned down, or our wives don't have any emotion in bed. And that's when we look for porn as an escape.
Besides, you've been bakin' the oven cookie for six months, women who are pregnant are supposed to have some kind of extra drive -
I can tell you already that your husband is honest, and cares a lot about you, just by knowing he's watching porn. It's an indicator that he hasn't taken the next step, which is looking for avenues of an affair. My marriage is going to **** because I'm the only one trying to make it work, she isn't. You seem like the kind of woman that can definitely turn things out the way you want.
Oh! And congratulations on the baby.Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?
I think you're rediculous and you're complaining for no reason. Get over your insecurities, watch the porn together and enjoy the time that you have together before the baby comes.
He has a hard time having sex with a pregnant woman, i would find this a healthy thing for him, would you put out as many times as he wants it?
I my self find a pregnant woman, very, very, sexy...I loved having sex with my wife when she was pregnant.
wouldn't worry about the porn...hell... join him.
Allow him to watch porn. All want this. It is common. It is enjoyable game created by god. Many times, I also watch porn. I want to see live porn. You can not check at all times. I can not check my son all the times. He may watch all.
well men will be men ...they make me sick cant even wait ..
He may not want to have sex with you, a lot of men dont want to have sex with a pregnant women, it has nothing to do with looks, or you getting bigger, its the idea of the baby down there,
You didnt mention if you had offered to take care of his needs.
If he is using porn, for sexual release, you shouldnt take it so serious, unless he is rejecting you for the porn, then you go a problem.
why not watch it together, and enjoy each other, you know
This is a very interesting question, although at one point you were okay with it. I never have been, and never will be. It has completely destroyed my self-esteem.
Everyone says it is normal just because most guys do it, but I don't think it's right. I don't think its right to watch other people have sex. I mean, why is it okay to see it on the computer, or dvds, but not okay to watch someone do it in real life. Also, everyone says, ';If you wouldn't do it in front of your spouse it's wrong.'; I think it goes for the same with porn. It's dirty, and gross. It makes me think less of men who do look at it.
If you love your woman and respect her, t hen you shouldn't need other women to sastify you, whether just looking or not. Although, once he has started, he prolly won't ever stop. As much as I try to accept it, I can't. I try not to let it get to me, because I do know that my boyfriend loves me, and when I'm with him he doesn't think of any of the girls he looks at online. It's just something for him to selfishly pleasure himself and you can't change it.
I'd talk to him about it, let him know how you feel. It was really embarrasing and awkward when I told my boyfriend it made me insecure. I have only found it once in 6 months since then and that was yesterday.
I know it is hard for women to get this (for some reason), and I got toasted from the anti porn crowd for saying this once, but men are visual and this has nothing to do with ';you'; unless it becomes some weird obsession. He has probably been masturbating to some kind of porn since he was a teenager and may be turning it up a notch because:
1. He is uncomfortable with having sex with his pregnant wife- a trip to the OB-GYN should calm that fear.
2. He is stressed out at the coming ';baby storm';; an event that he is not yet really vested in yet in the same way you are.
3. He has other stresses and this is a familiar outlet.
An orgasm releases ';feel good'; chemicals into the bloodstream that give him some relief from any of the above. He may not want to bother the woman that was experiencing morning sickness a few months ago or is lugging around a sack of flour under her shirt.
Whatever the reason, and if you are really up to it and IN TO IT....pay him a little extra attention ';down there'; and remember one thing.....Love your child with all your heart, but be IN LOVE with your husband. Remember you were his wife before you were their Mommy.
If you have talked to your husband about this matter and he has stopped watching porn..then you need to let this go and try to build the trust back into your relationship . If however you suspect he is still doing it..then you must talk to him again and explain in detail how it is making you feel. You are pregnant because he help to make you pregnant...so even if he only watched it once, and it caused you to feel the way you do..then it is a problem. If you don't learn to resolve theses problem now you will never be able to solve any problem you may hit in your relationship...and will spend the rest of your marriage fighting ...to have a good, healthy, happy , honest marriage...you must communicate,communicate,communicate.
My husband did this to me when I was pregnant and I went off and what are you going to do? Talk to him if he won't listen it's on him he might not think it's a big deal but you my dear you will never forget.
With this going on later on if more issues come up in the marriage it's just one of the main reasons to say enough is enough c-ya.
You can only wrong someone so much before they finally give up on you. Rather he is having issues with sex cuz your pregnant this isn't cool behavior at all. He should just be more thoughtful and respectful.
In my experience with the porn they will always say no I don't look at it later on and all this. But once they do it they never stop!
I'm a guy, that's going through the same exact situation that he is. The only difference is, you want it to change, my wife doesn't, because she doesn't care to listen.
It's pretty simple why married men watch porn.. And that's because their women don't please them as they should. Especially during this time. Men will take any kind of release you'll give. But he probably thinks you want your sexual space left alone because you have the baby (Natural guy reaction).
Easy solution to stop him from watching the porn, and I'm going to be totally honest with you:
1) Suck his **** when he feels the urge.
2) Get him off by other means.
Do that on a regular basis, and guaranteed he will fall (sensually) in love with you again. And you can watch that hobby of his go out the window. He feels that because you're pregnant, you want this barrier of non-sensual emotion. Fail to adhere this advice (Like most women would) and he will continue doing what he's doing.
90% of married men only want their women to be more freakier. Divorce, cheating.. That all comes into the picture when he isn't as satisfied, or thinks he can't satisfy you..
I used to cry myself to sleep (and I slept on the coach in defiance, most of the time) because my wife turned down sex with me all the time.. Amidst taking her out, buying her nice things, doing stuff we used to love to spark the romantic situation. All men really want is to not feel they're inadequate with their spouse. It hurts our hearts when we're turned down, or our wives don't have any emotion in bed. And that's when we look for porn as an escape.
Besides, you've been bakin' the oven cookie for six months, women who are pregnant are supposed to have some kind of extra drive -
I can tell you already that your husband is honest, and cares a lot about you, just by knowing he's watching porn. It's an indicator that he hasn't taken the next step, which is looking for avenues of an affair. My marriage is going to **** because I'm the only one trying to make it work, she isn't. You seem like the kind of woman that can definitely turn things out the way you want.
Oh! And congratulations on the baby.Husband watched porn while I am pregnant. I feel insecure. Any advice on fixing my insecurities and love life?
I think you're rediculous and you're complaining for no reason. Get over your insecurities, watch the porn together and enjoy the time that you have together before the baby comes.
Report Abuse
He has a hard time having sex with a pregnant woman, i would find this a healthy thing for him, would you put out as many times as he wants it?
I my self find a pregnant woman, very, very, sexy...I loved having sex with my wife when she was pregnant.
wouldn't worry about the porn...hell... join him.
Allow him to watch porn. All want this. It is common. It is enjoyable game created by god. Many times, I also watch porn. I want to see live porn. You can not check at all times. I can not check my son all the times. He may watch all.
well men will be men ...they make me sick cant even wait ..
He may not want to have sex with you, a lot of men dont want to have sex with a pregnant women, it has nothing to do with looks, or you getting bigger, its the idea of the baby down there,
You didnt mention if you had offered to take care of his needs.
If he is using porn, for sexual release, you shouldnt take it so serious, unless he is rejecting you for the porn, then you go a problem.
why not watch it together, and enjoy each other, you know
This is a very interesting question, although at one point you were okay with it. I never have been, and never will be. It has completely destroyed my self-esteem.
Everyone says it is normal just because most guys do it, but I don't think it's right. I don't think its right to watch other people have sex. I mean, why is it okay to see it on the computer, or dvds, but not okay to watch someone do it in real life. Also, everyone says, ';If you wouldn't do it in front of your spouse it's wrong.'; I think it goes for the same with porn. It's dirty, and gross. It makes me think less of men who do look at it.
If you love your woman and respect her, t hen you shouldn't need other women to sastify you, whether just looking or not. Although, once he has started, he prolly won't ever stop. As much as I try to accept it, I can't. I try not to let it get to me, because I do know that my boyfriend loves me, and when I'm with him he doesn't think of any of the girls he looks at online. It's just something for him to selfishly pleasure himself and you can't change it.
I'd talk to him about it, let him know how you feel. It was really embarrasing and awkward when I told my boyfriend it made me insecure. I have only found it once in 6 months since then and that was yesterday.
I know it is hard for women to get this (for some reason), and I got toasted from the anti porn crowd for saying this once, but men are visual and this has nothing to do with ';you'; unless it becomes some weird obsession. He has probably been masturbating to some kind of porn since he was a teenager and may be turning it up a notch because:
1. He is uncomfortable with having sex with his pregnant wife- a trip to the OB-GYN should calm that fear.
2. He is stressed out at the coming ';baby storm';; an event that he is not yet really vested in yet in the same way you are.
3. He has other stresses and this is a familiar outlet.
An orgasm releases ';feel good'; chemicals into the bloodstream that give him some relief from any of the above. He may not want to bother the woman that was experiencing morning sickness a few months ago or is lugging around a sack of flour under her shirt.
Whatever the reason, and if you are really up to it and IN TO IT....pay him a little extra attention ';down there'; and remember one thing.....Love your child with all your heart, but be IN LOVE with your husband. Remember you were his wife before you were their Mommy.
If you have talked to your husband about this matter and he has stopped watching porn..then you need to let this go and try to build the trust back into your relationship . If however you suspect he is still doing it..then you must talk to him again and explain in detail how it is making you feel. You are pregnant because he help to make you pregnant...so even if he only watched it once, and it caused you to feel the way you do..then it is a problem. If you don't learn to resolve theses problem now you will never be able to solve any problem you may hit in your relationship...and will spend the rest of your marriage fighting ...to have a good, healthy, happy , honest marriage...you must communicate,communicate,communicate.
My husband did this to me when I was pregnant and I went off and what are you going to do? Talk to him if he won't listen it's on him he might not think it's a big deal but you my dear you will never forget.
With this going on later on if more issues come up in the marriage it's just one of the main reasons to say enough is enough c-ya.
You can only wrong someone so much before they finally give up on you. Rather he is having issues with sex cuz your pregnant this isn't cool behavior at all. He should just be more thoughtful and respectful.
In my experience with the porn they will always say no I don't look at it later on and all this. But once they do it they never stop!
I need advice on what to do because I love my 18 year old cousin and I'm only 14.?
Alex, as much as I hate to say it ... you just want to see her naked. That's not a bad thing, but be realistic, she's going to be trying to hook up with college guys. At that age girls want older, not younger. However, they do get to a point where they want younger, not older.
Don't worry dude, it sucks but it's not forever. There are few choices to pry you out of your personal teenage hell. Being a guy at that age is not easy. However, you could hook with with the 13 year olds pretty easy ... but then you have to deal with all the maturity problems.
If you can make a girl laugh you are halfway home. You can be sensitive/caring but don't ever be needy. Girls don't like it handed to them on a plate. That sounds kind of cold, but from one guy to another, it's so true.
I've been in your shoes. Hang in there and figure out how to make a woman laugh and you open a lot of doors. They like being around people that are fun and make them laugh.
Good luck
sthI need advice on what to do because I love my 18 year old cousin and I'm only 14.?
Well to give you more advice i need to know if your cousin likes you? If not then I would say stick with 13 year old girls. I was one once and I would deff. go for 14 year old guys.
Best of Luck
I need advice on what to do because I love my 18 year old cousin and I'm only 14.?
I don't know what the person above me is saying about maturity problems becuase most girls by 13 are already ';matured'; if you know what I mean.
(contd.)
Gee South T, how old are you, sounds like you got it together, not many guys know that women love men who make them laugh. Very good answer.
Cousin? I hope it's love as in you love her because she's family. If you're in love..... you just think that but you really aren't. Besides.... that would be incest.
Never mind , you'll get over it
sit her down and just tell her you have great feeling for her and see where it goes
WOAH uhm... try and stopp
Don't worry dude, it sucks but it's not forever. There are few choices to pry you out of your personal teenage hell. Being a guy at that age is not easy. However, you could hook with with the 13 year olds pretty easy ... but then you have to deal with all the maturity problems.
If you can make a girl laugh you are halfway home. You can be sensitive/caring but don't ever be needy. Girls don't like it handed to them on a plate. That sounds kind of cold, but from one guy to another, it's so true.
I've been in your shoes. Hang in there and figure out how to make a woman laugh and you open a lot of doors. They like being around people that are fun and make them laugh.
Good luck
sthI need advice on what to do because I love my 18 year old cousin and I'm only 14.?
Well to give you more advice i need to know if your cousin likes you? If not then I would say stick with 13 year old girls. I was one once and I would deff. go for 14 year old guys.
Best of Luck
Report Abuse
I need advice on what to do because I love my 18 year old cousin and I'm only 14.?
I don't know what the person above me is saying about maturity problems becuase most girls by 13 are already ';matured'; if you know what I mean.
(contd.)
Report Abuse
Gee South T, how old are you, sounds like you got it together, not many guys know that women love men who make them laugh. Very good answer.
Report Abuse
Cousin? I hope it's love as in you love her because she's family. If you're in love..... you just think that but you really aren't. Besides.... that would be incest.
Never mind , you'll get over it
sit her down and just tell her you have great feeling for her and see where it goes
WOAH uhm... try and stopp
Advice on how you got over your first love?
I am having a hard time copeing with the fact that me and my first love will never be anymore :( it is so hard because all I can think of are the things we did together
I broke off the relationship due to his drugs late night partying alcohol and wondering eyes
please help me with some advice
how did you get over your first love?
do you still think about them?
have you moved on and still think about them?
and any onther advice is apreciatedAdvice on how you got over your first love?
sure thing.
here's the story. it was awful.
it was horrible.
it was complicated and convoluted.
and I survived.
the scene: The first science team meeting of my freshman year, I came in relatively late, so there was only one seat left in the room, next to a girl in the center of the room. Well, I took that seat. My first thought about her was that she looked like she was a nice person—of course—a preconceived notion—but, it was, in that case right. It turned out that we had a very large amount in common, and that she was my upperclassperson buddy. Best dance partner I’ve ever had. And as, this setup would suggest I did fall in love with her.
This was September, I asked her out in February.
She said yes.
Of course, she’d later deny it. Unfortunately for her, Yahoo! Saves a copy of my e-mails—and I asked her out through e-mail. I was an ikle freshman then. And terribly afraid of what I was about to do. I’d been trying for a week or so, to get up the nerve to ask her, in person, but the right moment never presented itself, nor did my strength of will.
I’ll never do it again.
At least, not like that.
Early on, I perpetrated all the deadly sins of inexperienced dating, as you’ll notice. For example, I literally asked her to ‘go out’ with me. And we’re not going into my, well our first kiss. But for all my inexperience, she never seemed to mind—granted, she had none of her own either. And as far as I could tell, she seemed happy. And it seemed to me too that she loved me back.
Outward appearances can be deceiving.
Out of the blue, she dumped me. Two weeks before finals. Naturally, that left me reeling. I recovered.
And my now very former councilor, of course, came up to me, about a week later, and said to me “she said it was over, stop stalking her.” And I quote. That was the first day of finals week. And she had just started talking to me again.
When I asked her if she considered my presence stalking, she looked at me, in a rather odd way, and said no.
And of course, the strangest thing about our relationship, I suppose was that it continued, nearly exactly the same, after our, breakup, as it were. For months. She came over to my house. My family knew her well. And my sister was totally enthralled.
Then her parents found out, in a rather strange turn of events, when, she inexplicably vanished for about six hours, without a key to her house or a means of contacting anybody. Her mother called my mother. She who shan’t be named had been over earlier that day.
Soon after, began my sophomore, and her senior year. And we remained close for the beginning portion; I was, at that point, still desperately in love with her, and still trying, off and on, to restart a romantic relationship with her. During that time she also acted as one of my peer leaders. And we were close friends.
Of course unrequited love takes its toll. By December I was having some serious issues, and it all came to a head two days before the end of the term. In retrospect we think I was hypoglycemic, stressed, and overtired, as well as horridly depressed, partly because I recovered somewhat after eating lunch.
The long and the short of the incident is that in peer leading she showed affection to somebody else and none to me. And, naturally, that hurt like heck.
Due to this I ended up having nonspecific, not fully formed homicidal/suicidal ideations. I didn’t do anything. And I have, through that experience come to value life more than anything—even love. And that’s something, especially coming from a romantic.
Naturally I saw my psychiatrist immediately thereafter. Firstly, he says I’m normal, and I’d believe him, were I you. Secondly: he gives very good relationship advice. And of course, I ended up with a shiny new romantic interest. It worked out fairly well.
But of course, if it ended there, it wouldn’t be nearly so interesting.
No, no, it gets worse.
However, She Who Won’t be Named Herein, did not, unfortunately recognize that I had ceased to seek her out as a romantic interest, and still thought I was interested—or probably in her mind, out to get her.
This came to a head in February, at an Olympiad invitational when she more-or less blew up at me. Much in the same way a water main blows up. Quite catastrophic. Very wet. But quickly dealt with and repaired.
We ended up having an hour-long tearful (on both sides, mind) conversation about her fears about our relationship, or lack-there-of, and were fine with each other for several months.
and doing very well after a lovely party which we both attended (and I hosted). ok by party I mean, me, her and another (female) friend. it was very nice. the food was good. the ambiance was good.
Until, completely out of the blue my now former councilor declared that I was not to have any contact of any kind with she who shan’t be named. That, of course came as a bit of a surprise.
This was, once again, right around finals—it correlates.
At that time, I considered her my best friend—she who won’t be named—not my former councilor.
To sum up the ending of the saga:
I had some serious issues left over which took me a long time to sort out. They’re out-sorted now. And it’s changed somewhat my outlook. To pull in some song lyrics here ‘who can say/ if I have been changed for the better/ but I have been changed for good’ (please ignore the connotations)
One of my (male) friends asked her out over the summer. She said yes. Then about two months later, she dumped him. It wasn’t terribly surprising—only slightly sad.
so, how do I feel about her now? two years out? I hate her guts. but, I think it's a good thing I got rid of her because I really love my curent girlfriend. very very much.
tips?
don't stalk him. in any way. don't think about trying to get back togather. look at other men. look for other men (well, it was women in my case, but... the concept holds, mm?)
yes, I still think about her. I don't like her much. but that took a long time for me to get there...
at first, when she dumped me, I was shocked.
I was still terribly in love with her. for about six months afterwords. I never made myself get over her.
I would say, if I were you, force yourself to find somebody else.
don't try to get back togather.
try not to talk to them, contact them
look at them, think about them... the works?
I know it's imposible
but it's the fact that you tried :)
what got me out of that mode, was help from my psychiatrist after I became horridly depressed (because I hadn't moved on), he gave me tremendous relationship advice. and he told me, that I had, (shockingly...) been doing everything right. and that she was screwed up. we did some thinking about what was wrong with her... she's a _real_ headcase... family issues... freudian stuff... the works? anyway he helped me figure out which one of my friends I should seek out... regrettably, she was taken. (as I found out when I asked her out...) but, that step helped set me free of her...
or it started to.
I guess, on some level, it took a lot more flushing to get her out of my mind... toilet analogy. sorry... I'm in the ';I HATE YOUR GUTS!'; phase of dealing with rejection... I must say, it's the _most_ vicerally satisfying phase as of yet. the muse of profanity is with me indeed XD
anyway... good luck! if you have any other questions, or want any other advice on the topics, feel free to contact me through Y!A. :)Advice on how you got over your first love?
my first love broke it off with me, because he was DEEP into drugs and alcohol.. we talked off and on and I dated other guys he dated and slept with other girls.. 5 or 6 years later we are married... You don't ever forget your first love.. You never REALLY get over them either.. but you move on.. maybe stay friends with them just don't get into like.. Friends with benefits.. that won't work it just emotionally hurts worse! The best advice is stop trying to forget about him and be friends with him and if you can't take that then back off and date other guys.. it's gunna be really hard at first.. but it will all work out.. no doubt!
Good luck!!
All loves are hard to forget and get over not just the first. Yes it is hard but try to fill your day with anything constructive. School, work, helping someone in need, Take walks and look at all that the world has to offer. There is a reason for everything. Time will heal. Most of all, talk to a good friend.
sorry bout u never forget over your first love because its your first but that doesnt mean the pain wont heal over but dont expect to just forget every memorie and thing you guys did together because you wont but after time youll remeber but wont care as much especially if u find a better guy. i hope this helps
i never did i kept them in my heart but i moved on by telling myself that no matter how hard i try it's something i lost that i could never get back, all i can do now is hope for a better tomorrow as corny as that soudned
you kinda sound like my best friend. she is still in love with her first love. hell neither can i. I didn't think anyone can 4get them its been a long tie since i have talked to mine and i always think about him.
well y first love wuz perfect and didnt do any of tht stuff but insted he moved across the usa be cuz of his parents job so thx for posting the question cuz now i can get some answers:)
I broke off the relationship due to his drugs late night partying alcohol and wondering eyes
please help me with some advice
how did you get over your first love?
do you still think about them?
have you moved on and still think about them?
and any onther advice is apreciatedAdvice on how you got over your first love?
sure thing.
here's the story. it was awful.
it was horrible.
it was complicated and convoluted.
and I survived.
the scene: The first science team meeting of my freshman year, I came in relatively late, so there was only one seat left in the room, next to a girl in the center of the room. Well, I took that seat. My first thought about her was that she looked like she was a nice person—of course—a preconceived notion—but, it was, in that case right. It turned out that we had a very large amount in common, and that she was my upperclassperson buddy. Best dance partner I’ve ever had. And as, this setup would suggest I did fall in love with her.
This was September, I asked her out in February.
She said yes.
Of course, she’d later deny it. Unfortunately for her, Yahoo! Saves a copy of my e-mails—and I asked her out through e-mail. I was an ikle freshman then. And terribly afraid of what I was about to do. I’d been trying for a week or so, to get up the nerve to ask her, in person, but the right moment never presented itself, nor did my strength of will.
I’ll never do it again.
At least, not like that.
Early on, I perpetrated all the deadly sins of inexperienced dating, as you’ll notice. For example, I literally asked her to ‘go out’ with me. And we’re not going into my, well our first kiss. But for all my inexperience, she never seemed to mind—granted, she had none of her own either. And as far as I could tell, she seemed happy. And it seemed to me too that she loved me back.
Outward appearances can be deceiving.
Out of the blue, she dumped me. Two weeks before finals. Naturally, that left me reeling. I recovered.
And my now very former councilor, of course, came up to me, about a week later, and said to me “she said it was over, stop stalking her.” And I quote. That was the first day of finals week. And she had just started talking to me again.
When I asked her if she considered my presence stalking, she looked at me, in a rather odd way, and said no.
And of course, the strangest thing about our relationship, I suppose was that it continued, nearly exactly the same, after our, breakup, as it were. For months. She came over to my house. My family knew her well. And my sister was totally enthralled.
Then her parents found out, in a rather strange turn of events, when, she inexplicably vanished for about six hours, without a key to her house or a means of contacting anybody. Her mother called my mother. She who shan’t be named had been over earlier that day.
Soon after, began my sophomore, and her senior year. And we remained close for the beginning portion; I was, at that point, still desperately in love with her, and still trying, off and on, to restart a romantic relationship with her. During that time she also acted as one of my peer leaders. And we were close friends.
Of course unrequited love takes its toll. By December I was having some serious issues, and it all came to a head two days before the end of the term. In retrospect we think I was hypoglycemic, stressed, and overtired, as well as horridly depressed, partly because I recovered somewhat after eating lunch.
The long and the short of the incident is that in peer leading she showed affection to somebody else and none to me. And, naturally, that hurt like heck.
Due to this I ended up having nonspecific, not fully formed homicidal/suicidal ideations. I didn’t do anything. And I have, through that experience come to value life more than anything—even love. And that’s something, especially coming from a romantic.
Naturally I saw my psychiatrist immediately thereafter. Firstly, he says I’m normal, and I’d believe him, were I you. Secondly: he gives very good relationship advice. And of course, I ended up with a shiny new romantic interest. It worked out fairly well.
But of course, if it ended there, it wouldn’t be nearly so interesting.
No, no, it gets worse.
However, She Who Won’t be Named Herein, did not, unfortunately recognize that I had ceased to seek her out as a romantic interest, and still thought I was interested—or probably in her mind, out to get her.
This came to a head in February, at an Olympiad invitational when she more-or less blew up at me. Much in the same way a water main blows up. Quite catastrophic. Very wet. But quickly dealt with and repaired.
We ended up having an hour-long tearful (on both sides, mind) conversation about her fears about our relationship, or lack-there-of, and were fine with each other for several months.
and doing very well after a lovely party which we both attended (and I hosted). ok by party I mean, me, her and another (female) friend. it was very nice. the food was good. the ambiance was good.
Until, completely out of the blue my now former councilor declared that I was not to have any contact of any kind with she who shan’t be named. That, of course came as a bit of a surprise.
This was, once again, right around finals—it correlates.
At that time, I considered her my best friend—she who won’t be named—not my former councilor.
To sum up the ending of the saga:
I had some serious issues left over which took me a long time to sort out. They’re out-sorted now. And it’s changed somewhat my outlook. To pull in some song lyrics here ‘who can say/ if I have been changed for the better/ but I have been changed for good’ (please ignore the connotations)
One of my (male) friends asked her out over the summer. She said yes. Then about two months later, she dumped him. It wasn’t terribly surprising—only slightly sad.
so, how do I feel about her now? two years out? I hate her guts. but, I think it's a good thing I got rid of her because I really love my curent girlfriend. very very much.
tips?
don't stalk him. in any way. don't think about trying to get back togather. look at other men. look for other men (well, it was women in my case, but... the concept holds, mm?)
yes, I still think about her. I don't like her much. but that took a long time for me to get there...
at first, when she dumped me, I was shocked.
I was still terribly in love with her. for about six months afterwords. I never made myself get over her.
I would say, if I were you, force yourself to find somebody else.
don't try to get back togather.
try not to talk to them, contact them
look at them, think about them... the works?
I know it's imposible
but it's the fact that you tried :)
what got me out of that mode, was help from my psychiatrist after I became horridly depressed (because I hadn't moved on), he gave me tremendous relationship advice. and he told me, that I had, (shockingly...) been doing everything right. and that she was screwed up. we did some thinking about what was wrong with her... she's a _real_ headcase... family issues... freudian stuff... the works? anyway he helped me figure out which one of my friends I should seek out... regrettably, she was taken. (as I found out when I asked her out...) but, that step helped set me free of her...
or it started to.
I guess, on some level, it took a lot more flushing to get her out of my mind... toilet analogy. sorry... I'm in the ';I HATE YOUR GUTS!'; phase of dealing with rejection... I must say, it's the _most_ vicerally satisfying phase as of yet. the muse of profanity is with me indeed XD
anyway... good luck! if you have any other questions, or want any other advice on the topics, feel free to contact me through Y!A. :)Advice on how you got over your first love?
my first love broke it off with me, because he was DEEP into drugs and alcohol.. we talked off and on and I dated other guys he dated and slept with other girls.. 5 or 6 years later we are married... You don't ever forget your first love.. You never REALLY get over them either.. but you move on.. maybe stay friends with them just don't get into like.. Friends with benefits.. that won't work it just emotionally hurts worse! The best advice is stop trying to forget about him and be friends with him and if you can't take that then back off and date other guys.. it's gunna be really hard at first.. but it will all work out.. no doubt!
Good luck!!
All loves are hard to forget and get over not just the first. Yes it is hard but try to fill your day with anything constructive. School, work, helping someone in need, Take walks and look at all that the world has to offer. There is a reason for everything. Time will heal. Most of all, talk to a good friend.
sorry bout u never forget over your first love because its your first but that doesnt mean the pain wont heal over but dont expect to just forget every memorie and thing you guys did together because you wont but after time youll remeber but wont care as much especially if u find a better guy. i hope this helps
i never did i kept them in my heart but i moved on by telling myself that no matter how hard i try it's something i lost that i could never get back, all i can do now is hope for a better tomorrow as corny as that soudned
you kinda sound like my best friend. she is still in love with her first love. hell neither can i. I didn't think anyone can 4get them its been a long tie since i have talked to mine and i always think about him.
well y first love wuz perfect and didnt do any of tht stuff but insted he moved across the usa be cuz of his parents job so thx for posting the question cuz now i can get some answers:)
I have a girlfriend who stay about 7km from where i stay,i just need an advice on how 2 make her love me more?
SOMETIMES WHEN I ASK HER WHERE IS SHE GOING?SHE TELLS ME THE PLACE BUT WHEN I ASK WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO?SHE'LL JUST SAY IS FOR OLD PEOPLE.SHE LOVES ME AND I DO LOVE HER A LOT,I DONT WANT TO LOSE HER.SHE IS ONLY STILL 17 YEARS OLD.I WANT TO MAKE HER HAPPY ALL THE TIME AND THINK OF ME.I have a girlfriend who stay about 7km from where i stay,i just need an advice on how 2 make her love me more?
I think you should give her a little more space, and stop questioning her about what she's doing and where she going. It is ok to ask sometimes but don't become obsessed with it. Girls generally like some degree of space. Love her and show her that you can function not only together but when you are apart. She probably will feel more comfortable telling you more things then.I have a girlfriend who stay about 7km from where i stay,i just need an advice on how 2 make her love me more?
always compliment less negativity try taking her out more roses perhaps but dont get to into it you want to be involved but not like a stalker
Don麓t act desperate.
I think you should give her a little more space, and stop questioning her about what she's doing and where she going. It is ok to ask sometimes but don't become obsessed with it. Girls generally like some degree of space. Love her and show her that you can function not only together but when you are apart. She probably will feel more comfortable telling you more things then.I have a girlfriend who stay about 7km from where i stay,i just need an advice on how 2 make her love me more?
always compliment less negativity try taking her out more roses perhaps but dont get to into it you want to be involved but not like a stalker
Don麓t act desperate.
Advice on my guy friend..I really like him, do we have a chance at love?
We've been great friends for 2 years. He kept in touch even though he moved to another country %26amp; ometimes we chat for hours. We kissed last time we met. He was to visit but with exams, didn't. He had ended it with his girlfriend before I visited. Couple of mths ago he chatted with me %26amp; told me he had feelings for her. Yesterday he contacted me again %26amp; invited me to visit him. Then he said, by the time I come he might be back with his ex (she lives in his home country %26amp; he is meeting her v soon). He told me he thinks I'm really cool, hot, intelligent. He told me it may not work out when he meets this girl but he thinks he would like to marry her (not now..future), but he's not sure! %26amp; wants at least to be friends with me. I told him I wouldn't visit if he has a girlfriend. Then yesterday he mailed me from the city she lives in 'hey, I'm here %26amp; just realised I don't have much to do here, how r u? what's up?' To me this sounds like he's thinking of me. Why does he keep coming back %26amp; contacting me %26amp; inviting me if he feels for this girl?Advice on my guy friend..I really like him, do we have a chance at love?
I think he just wants to lead you on because he's obviously madly in love with this girl, but doesn't want to hurt you. If I were you, I'd make it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him (relationship wise) with the way he's acting.
Move on. Find someone else. Keep in touch with him but don't play his silly games.Advice on my guy friend..I really like him, do we have a chance at love?
Yeah he is still thinking of you but I think he's only interested in the physical side of things from what you've said. Therefore, it'd be best to cut off all contact with him before you do something you may regret.
I don't think you have any chance at love with him its time you moved on and found someone where you come first not second to this one or that one.If he loved you he wouldn't be telling you about all these other women.
G'Day mate don't you think he is just being a friend,But if he says he cant see you when he gets with this girl then tell him to f off,unless he is holding on to you just in case it fails with this girl.If it fails i wouldn't go out with him because it shows that your second best and i sure you don't wanna be second best in a relationship.If he wants you he should go 4 you now and not see what happens with this other girl.If i was you just be friends with him and not go out with him,you can get better guy who will notice you right away.cheers mate
I think he just wants to lead you on because he's obviously madly in love with this girl, but doesn't want to hurt you. If I were you, I'd make it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him (relationship wise) with the way he's acting.
Move on. Find someone else. Keep in touch with him but don't play his silly games.Advice on my guy friend..I really like him, do we have a chance at love?
Yeah he is still thinking of you but I think he's only interested in the physical side of things from what you've said. Therefore, it'd be best to cut off all contact with him before you do something you may regret.
I don't think you have any chance at love with him its time you moved on and found someone where you come first not second to this one or that one.If he loved you he wouldn't be telling you about all these other women.
G'Day mate don't you think he is just being a friend,But if he says he cant see you when he gets with this girl then tell him to f off,unless he is holding on to you just in case it fails with this girl.If it fails i wouldn't go out with him because it shows that your second best and i sure you don't wanna be second best in a relationship.If he wants you he should go 4 you now and not see what happens with this other girl.If i was you just be friends with him and not go out with him,you can get better guy who will notice you right away.cheers mate
Any advice on how to reconnect with a long-lost unrequited love?
I recently got out of a nasty marriage and have fantasies about trying to reconnect with someone from long ago, a relationship that was never fufilled. Can anyone share their story and give advice?Any advice on how to reconnect with a long-lost unrequited love?
Reconnecting with people from the past is not complicated...just call them.
You may be setting yourself up for a let down. In your needy state (recently divorced) you will probably just make a fool of yourself.You can't just pick up like you were never married and time never passed and the other person didn't have a life when you weren't around.
My advice: In your fantasy, replace your love from the past with whoever lives next door.Any advice on how to reconnect with a long-lost unrequited love?
I have been trying for three years now. I found his brother but he won't return my calls or emails and I live about 3 hours from him and don't know the exact address, just the town. I assumed that his brother would pass the message on to my old flame but apparently not. Good Luck!
Ha, you can't ';reconnect'; to an ';unrequited'; love, because if it was unrequited, you were never connected.
Forget it. Chances are he is married with Kids and his wife doesn't need your failed-marriage-azz in HER LIFE!blush color makeup video
Reconnecting with people from the past is not complicated...just call them.
You may be setting yourself up for a let down. In your needy state (recently divorced) you will probably just make a fool of yourself.You can't just pick up like you were never married and time never passed and the other person didn't have a life when you weren't around.
My advice: In your fantasy, replace your love from the past with whoever lives next door.Any advice on how to reconnect with a long-lost unrequited love?
I have been trying for three years now. I found his brother but he won't return my calls or emails and I live about 3 hours from him and don't know the exact address, just the town. I assumed that his brother would pass the message on to my old flame but apparently not. Good Luck!
Ha, you can't ';reconnect'; to an ';unrequited'; love, because if it was unrequited, you were never connected.
Forget it. Chances are he is married with Kids and his wife doesn't need your failed-marriage-azz in HER LIFE!
Any advice on seperation with some one you love and having a baby with them would be much appreciated?
finding it difficult to copeAny advice on seperation with some one you love and having a baby with them would be much appreciated?
just think of your baby. i kno it is hard iv been thru this me and my daoughters father broke up wen i was 3 months pregnant and it was very hard even tho i split with him. he wasnt interested in the pregnancy even tho he was the 1 that wanted her and i just couldnt take it ny more. now im a single mother and i wouldnt change it for the world. the babys needs always come 1st, and it would rather have u 2 separated than together just for them wen u dont want to be. it is difficult but ul get thru it, good luck xxxAny advice on seperation with some one you love and having a baby with them would be much appreciated?
Has he gone because of your relationship or the baby?
Some men get scared and runaway when they have to face up to being a parent and the responsibility of that. If this is the case give him space and time do not push him.
If he simply doesnt want to be with you sorry some men are b*****ds.
Its scary being on your own and having a baby but you will be stronger than you think. You are a great person and in time he will regret what he has lost. Do you really need him? I mean REALLY need him???? I dont think so
All that advice is well and good and assuming that your not considering anything else. But maybe your considering not having the baby. Only you can decide this and no amount of advice or others opinions can help. It is a very difficult choice to make.
To make a choice of this magnitude will make you a better and stronger person.
Good luck and listen to your heart xxxxxx
forgive the person n' raise the baby with full of love n' attention......the baby is innocent... :)
I am sorry to hear of your separation
I am a single mum with 2 children and my ex partner and i was together for 14 years and we separated a couple of years ago.
I found it very difficult to deal with the separation and i thought that my world had ended. My ex partner and i did try again after a few months of being separated but we found it so hard and we realised that it was definitely over between us.
I felt bad for my children because i did not know how they would cope with the separation.
Well 2 years on and i am really happy now, the kids are really happy as they see there dad a lot and they know that they now that they can contact him anytime that they wish. My ex is happy two. The kids are also happier because there is no more rows between my ex partner and i. The house is so much more relaxed now and in result the kids are more relaxed and happy in their life.
We have managed to stay good friends and we possibly have a better rel now than what we did when we was together.
It is very hard to handle a separation but in time it will get a lot easier and in time you might realise that you both have done the right thing in separating.
Try and keep yourself busy at all times and try to have a good time. Try meeting new people.
Time is what makes it easier.
good luck. keep your head high and keep smiling
i wish you the best
I am sorry to hear about you seperating from your partner. People deal with this differently to others. People can only give you advice but you have to make the decisions for yourself.
If you only want a baby to see if this sorts out the relationship, it is not a good way to start. A baby can bring alot of stress to any relationship. I think my sister in law has done this and she is left alone with the baby. The baby will only pick up the negative feelings in the relationship. No matter how old they are, they are very clever picking this up. I do hope everything works out well for you. Follow your heart. Best of luck to ye..
just think of your baby. i kno it is hard iv been thru this me and my daoughters father broke up wen i was 3 months pregnant and it was very hard even tho i split with him. he wasnt interested in the pregnancy even tho he was the 1 that wanted her and i just couldnt take it ny more. now im a single mother and i wouldnt change it for the world. the babys needs always come 1st, and it would rather have u 2 separated than together just for them wen u dont want to be. it is difficult but ul get thru it, good luck xxxAny advice on seperation with some one you love and having a baby with them would be much appreciated?
Has he gone because of your relationship or the baby?
Some men get scared and runaway when they have to face up to being a parent and the responsibility of that. If this is the case give him space and time do not push him.
If he simply doesnt want to be with you sorry some men are b*****ds.
Its scary being on your own and having a baby but you will be stronger than you think. You are a great person and in time he will regret what he has lost. Do you really need him? I mean REALLY need him???? I dont think so
All that advice is well and good and assuming that your not considering anything else. But maybe your considering not having the baby. Only you can decide this and no amount of advice or others opinions can help. It is a very difficult choice to make.
To make a choice of this magnitude will make you a better and stronger person.
Good luck and listen to your heart xxxxxx
forgive the person n' raise the baby with full of love n' attention......the baby is innocent... :)
I am sorry to hear of your separation
I am a single mum with 2 children and my ex partner and i was together for 14 years and we separated a couple of years ago.
I found it very difficult to deal with the separation and i thought that my world had ended. My ex partner and i did try again after a few months of being separated but we found it so hard and we realised that it was definitely over between us.
I felt bad for my children because i did not know how they would cope with the separation.
Well 2 years on and i am really happy now, the kids are really happy as they see there dad a lot and they know that they now that they can contact him anytime that they wish. My ex is happy two. The kids are also happier because there is no more rows between my ex partner and i. The house is so much more relaxed now and in result the kids are more relaxed and happy in their life.
We have managed to stay good friends and we possibly have a better rel now than what we did when we was together.
It is very hard to handle a separation but in time it will get a lot easier and in time you might realise that you both have done the right thing in separating.
Try and keep yourself busy at all times and try to have a good time. Try meeting new people.
Time is what makes it easier.
good luck. keep your head high and keep smiling
i wish you the best
I am sorry to hear about you seperating from your partner. People deal with this differently to others. People can only give you advice but you have to make the decisions for yourself.
If you only want a baby to see if this sorts out the relationship, it is not a good way to start. A baby can bring alot of stress to any relationship. I think my sister in law has done this and she is left alone with the baby. The baby will only pick up the negative feelings in the relationship. No matter how old they are, they are very clever picking this up. I do hope everything works out well for you. Follow your heart. Best of luck to ye..
Any advice on getting over first break up or love? please help?
Aw. Im sorry. That can be a biznotch! *Sighs* Well...idk...i just went through that too but im relentlessly trying to get him back. But um the things you need are....
SUPERDUPER AMAZING FRIENDS
A gallon of vanilla ice cream
A TV
Comfy sweats
and a tissue box
cry it off. you have to let it out. mope over him for a little bit...key words a little bit. after your heart feels even a tad restored jump back out there. Any advice on getting over first break up or love? please help?
Well to tell you the truth you'll never get over your first love. They will always be somewhere either your heart or just apart of you in someway. It helps to at least try and give another persona chance to somewhat fill the old wound. You cant just give up on love, you never know the next guy you meet might be the one. Or just the one that helped you move forward in your life. Baby steps...Any advice on getting over first break up or love? please help?
take anything this person gave you, pictures of this person, or stuff that reminds you of them and put it in a box and place the box hidden away from sight. should help you stop thinking about this person.
ice cream!
also, if you guys broke up, it means you weren't meant for each other. You will find someone in your life who is meant for you, this person just wasn't it.
Alanis Morisette -- You oughta know !!
know the lyrics and you'll be able to relate to them.
SUPERDUPER AMAZING FRIENDS
A gallon of vanilla ice cream
A TV
Comfy sweats
and a tissue box
cry it off. you have to let it out. mope over him for a little bit...key words a little bit. after your heart feels even a tad restored jump back out there. Any advice on getting over first break up or love? please help?
Well to tell you the truth you'll never get over your first love. They will always be somewhere either your heart or just apart of you in someway. It helps to at least try and give another persona chance to somewhat fill the old wound. You cant just give up on love, you never know the next guy you meet might be the one. Or just the one that helped you move forward in your life. Baby steps...Any advice on getting over first break up or love? please help?
take anything this person gave you, pictures of this person, or stuff that reminds you of them and put it in a box and place the box hidden away from sight. should help you stop thinking about this person.
ice cream!
also, if you guys broke up, it means you weren't meant for each other. You will find someone in your life who is meant for you, this person just wasn't it.
Alanis Morisette -- You oughta know !!
know the lyrics and you'll be able to relate to them.
Need advice on dating just divorced and have found the love of my life but.....?
i was divorced a few months and have met the love of my life but he has never been married has no children and i have a 4yr old how do i get them use to each other.... we already discussed marriage he lives about two hours from me and my ex and i have joint custody...my guy now wants to stert spending the night while my son is at my house i don't know what to do Need advice on dating just divorced and have found the love of my life but.....?
First of all, you've only been divorced a few months, What are you doing dating already and not to mention already talking marriage. Can you say doomed to fail. Let me be the first to tell you the sleeping over thing wouldn't be good for your 4 year old to see. Your child is going through mom and dad not being in the same house and now some other guy is sleeping where dad once slept. You really need to step back here and slow down. Need advice on dating just divorced and have found the love of my life but.....?
I wouldn't have him start spending the night so soon, I would start by going on little outings like to the park or zoo, out to dinner. let your boyfriend know that things have to start out slow and if he really loves you he should respect your decision. Good luck, what a tough situation your in
Make sure your really trust this guy before he spends any alone time with your son. I went through the same thing a few years ago, I thought I was in love with this guy he wanted to watch my son while I was at work he ended up extremely jealouss of him and spanked him so hard he left bruises on his butt, I had to go to child services and then the police, WATCH OUT.
I too have found myself in this sort of situation in the past. Yes, it can be tricky, but not terrifying for your child if you handle it correctly. The most important thing is to make certain that your bedroom door locks. It may sound stupid, but your son doesn't need to walk into your room and see you with someone other than his daddy at this point.
As long as your new guy treats your son with respect and love, things should be fine. Don't expect either one of them to think it's a ideal situation. It will be an adjustment period for all of you.
Good Luck!
I don't recommend the spending the night thing. That just causes confusion for the child. All of you go to the park or to the movies? Go to the zoo. I def would not let him spend the night while the child is there. Not for a while anyway. Your child needs to get to know him first and establish a good relationship with him.
Start out slow. I would get your son used to him being around before you jump to letting him stay the night, especially if it's going to be frequent. Have him come over in the afternoon or something and see how he and your son interact. Your son is young enough to probably not really understand what's going on. I would check out some parenting websites for specifics on what to do.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You just got out of one marriage, and you're already planning on another? Slow down and make sure this isn't a rebound first. He definitely shouldn't be spending the night until your kid gets used to him, and that's going to take time. (And if he doesn't get that, you should really think hard about the kind of stepfather he's going to make.)
Well if you guys plan to get married, you need to get your son used to him by inviting your guy over for dinner and doing stuff with the 3 of you together. Usually, younger kids get used to boyfriends more than older kids. Good Luck!
First of all, you've only been divorced a few months, What are you doing dating already and not to mention already talking marriage. Can you say doomed to fail. Let me be the first to tell you the sleeping over thing wouldn't be good for your 4 year old to see. Your child is going through mom and dad not being in the same house and now some other guy is sleeping where dad once slept. You really need to step back here and slow down. Need advice on dating just divorced and have found the love of my life but.....?
I wouldn't have him start spending the night so soon, I would start by going on little outings like to the park or zoo, out to dinner. let your boyfriend know that things have to start out slow and if he really loves you he should respect your decision. Good luck, what a tough situation your in
Make sure your really trust this guy before he spends any alone time with your son. I went through the same thing a few years ago, I thought I was in love with this guy he wanted to watch my son while I was at work he ended up extremely jealouss of him and spanked him so hard he left bruises on his butt, I had to go to child services and then the police, WATCH OUT.
I too have found myself in this sort of situation in the past. Yes, it can be tricky, but not terrifying for your child if you handle it correctly. The most important thing is to make certain that your bedroom door locks. It may sound stupid, but your son doesn't need to walk into your room and see you with someone other than his daddy at this point.
As long as your new guy treats your son with respect and love, things should be fine. Don't expect either one of them to think it's a ideal situation. It will be an adjustment period for all of you.
Good Luck!
I don't recommend the spending the night thing. That just causes confusion for the child. All of you go to the park or to the movies? Go to the zoo. I def would not let him spend the night while the child is there. Not for a while anyway. Your child needs to get to know him first and establish a good relationship with him.
Start out slow. I would get your son used to him being around before you jump to letting him stay the night, especially if it's going to be frequent. Have him come over in the afternoon or something and see how he and your son interact. Your son is young enough to probably not really understand what's going on. I would check out some parenting websites for specifics on what to do.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You just got out of one marriage, and you're already planning on another? Slow down and make sure this isn't a rebound first. He definitely shouldn't be spending the night until your kid gets used to him, and that's going to take time. (And if he doesn't get that, you should really think hard about the kind of stepfather he's going to make.)
Well if you guys plan to get married, you need to get your son used to him by inviting your guy over for dinner and doing stuff with the 3 of you together. Usually, younger kids get used to boyfriends more than older kids. Good Luck!
Any advice on losing a loved one?
My dad passed away. I'm so sad. I just don't have the energy to do anything. I just want to check out. I can't sleep, so I come on Y/A to quit thinking about him. I've read some grief books and I'm going to work, but it's so hard. Any advice?Any advice on losing a loved one?
People are going to tell you to do this or that because it helped them. You are going to find your own way to greve. I lost my wife of 44 years in 2005, it still hurts. One thing to remember though is the reason you feel sad is because the two of you loved each other. If you didn't you wouldn't feel this way.
It is just going to take time. You can through yourself into different activities. That helps for the moment but not for the long term. You can talk to him, maybe that will help. I have sat by my wife's grave and just had a quiet talk with her. It does help me discover myself and what made us a couple. Good luck.ppAny advice on losing a loved one?
It is always a hard thing to lose someone you love, especially someone so close to you. You have to remember the good times you had with him and move past the death. It will take time, but you will come to terms with it. I am not saying that it will not hurt, because it will. If you are finding that you are really depressed about it after a few months, maybe grief counseling will be helpful to you. Take time out for yourself, and if you feel like crying, cry. Let out the feelings of anger, pain, suffering, depression.
Well how long ago did he died? It understanding where your feeling will be up and down as it will for long time, It always hard to lose someone whom been in ur life forever but trust me it get better as times goes on nothing is ever easy in life even after we lose someone, Funny is things do change after death but we do go on and learn to live with it.
Just take it one day at a time, But contuinely go on and I would recommend if you tak to someone about ur dad or go to grief support groups and all as time goes on it sure get better.
Take Care and Good Luck
TIME, that's what it takes, it takes time to heal. life is hard and confusing. i lost my first born child 4 years ago today, so i'm having a rough day too. but it gets easier. you just have to look at it like, there are only 1 thing that is for sure in this lifetime and that is that you will die. we all go differently and at different times, but eventually we will go. i don't know how you feel about religion, but my church really helped me at my time of loss. just take a step back and remember the good times, cause if you have any kind of faith at all, you will see him again, no matte what you believe you have to know that this can't be all there is to life !!
I'm sorry for your loss, yet I am glad that you have realized that sadness is not a nice companion. There is a time to grief so feel free to go through it.
My advice is to think about the following statement (if you see that it applies for you).
Come to realize that your father wants you to be happy, even in his absence.
You miss him because you love him. That love will not go away if you decide to be happy like he wants you to be.
Can a daughter's love really go away because she is happy? Certainly not! A love like yours will always stay. You will be remembering him even when you get used to his absence.
Be happy, because that's what he would want for you; and because you can keep loving him and be happy at the same time. :)
My dad also leave me and go to heaven(4years ago)at that time onword i am in a big sleep.i lost my wealth..money,land everything....when i open my eye i understand i lost every thing...so my dear i can giv oniy 1 advice...if u fall everyone try to steal something from u...dont trust anyone...your papa love 2 see yur smiling face...so be practical...and do yur duty well....if u lost yur energy then yur whole family lost energy.keep it in yur mind.....
only time will heal the pain
People are going to tell you to do this or that because it helped them. You are going to find your own way to greve. I lost my wife of 44 years in 2005, it still hurts. One thing to remember though is the reason you feel sad is because the two of you loved each other. If you didn't you wouldn't feel this way.
It is just going to take time. You can through yourself into different activities. That helps for the moment but not for the long term. You can talk to him, maybe that will help. I have sat by my wife's grave and just had a quiet talk with her. It does help me discover myself and what made us a couple. Good luck.ppAny advice on losing a loved one?
It is always a hard thing to lose someone you love, especially someone so close to you. You have to remember the good times you had with him and move past the death. It will take time, but you will come to terms with it. I am not saying that it will not hurt, because it will. If you are finding that you are really depressed about it after a few months, maybe grief counseling will be helpful to you. Take time out for yourself, and if you feel like crying, cry. Let out the feelings of anger, pain, suffering, depression.
Well how long ago did he died? It understanding where your feeling will be up and down as it will for long time, It always hard to lose someone whom been in ur life forever but trust me it get better as times goes on nothing is ever easy in life even after we lose someone, Funny is things do change after death but we do go on and learn to live with it.
Just take it one day at a time, But contuinely go on and I would recommend if you tak to someone about ur dad or go to grief support groups and all as time goes on it sure get better.
Take Care and Good Luck
TIME, that's what it takes, it takes time to heal. life is hard and confusing. i lost my first born child 4 years ago today, so i'm having a rough day too. but it gets easier. you just have to look at it like, there are only 1 thing that is for sure in this lifetime and that is that you will die. we all go differently and at different times, but eventually we will go. i don't know how you feel about religion, but my church really helped me at my time of loss. just take a step back and remember the good times, cause if you have any kind of faith at all, you will see him again, no matte what you believe you have to know that this can't be all there is to life !!
I'm sorry for your loss, yet I am glad that you have realized that sadness is not a nice companion. There is a time to grief so feel free to go through it.
My advice is to think about the following statement (if you see that it applies for you).
Come to realize that your father wants you to be happy, even in his absence.
You miss him because you love him. That love will not go away if you decide to be happy like he wants you to be.
Can a daughter's love really go away because she is happy? Certainly not! A love like yours will always stay. You will be remembering him even when you get used to his absence.
Be happy, because that's what he would want for you; and because you can keep loving him and be happy at the same time. :)
My dad also leave me and go to heaven(4years ago)at that time onword i am in a big sleep.i lost my wealth..money,land everything....when i open my eye i understand i lost every thing...so my dear i can giv oniy 1 advice...if u fall everyone try to steal something from u...dont trust anyone...your papa love 2 see yur smiling face...so be practical...and do yur duty well....if u lost yur energy then yur whole family lost energy.keep it in yur mind.....
only time will heal the pain
Hey ppl u'll who ans are really nice..i wanna share a personal prob. love to get some advice on?
i live wid my step mum,dad,step 1yr elder sis,n step small 8th std brother..my mom keeps on makein things tough for me as she envy's my progress as compared to her own daughter,it gets tough for me to do anythn n sometimes i lose all my confidence..my bro insults me even though he's small to me yet my parents say nothing..i miss my grand mom who use to love me,she's no more..life is difficult ..how do i deal with it..my sister complain against me and my dad barely is at home he never supports me on thn'sHey ppl u'll who ans are really nice..i wanna share a personal prob. love to get some advice on?
Your only option is to put up with it the best you can until you are an adult. Then move out.
It doesnt matter if you are nice to her or not she will never replace your mom/granny. Just make sure you do good in school and get a good job when you are done. Make this experience and her dislike of you force you to work harder in school.Hey ppl u'll who ans are really nice..i wanna share a personal prob. love to get some advice on?
Scream at your mom. That might sound bad, but when my step mom does that and when she gets tired of me doing better than her son she makes life a living hell, so i take a deep breath in and scream it all out. Tell her your not afraid to run away. Let her know that your not going to be pushed around. If she says ';Fine run away, see who misses you'; then do. Only stay gone for 1 or 2 nights and when you get back your dad will be soooo happy, and your step mom will be soooo gone.
hie!i know how hard is to live wid this kind peole!but if u want to become successful in life JUST IGNORE THEM!i know u will b thinking wat will happen if i do this!but this the only key to success!and for that best of luck for ur life!and also try to talk to ur dad about this!
or else just do sum trick that will tell ur dad wat r u going under!
u cant do anythng with ur step mom...but yeah dont tolerate ur siblings..the next time they shout or insult you just bash them up..protect ur self respect...stand up for ur right dont be scared..dont let them depress you...study hard and try to move out of the house for ur university..and yeah talk to ur dad..he has to listen to you or just scare him that if he doesnt u will run away from him forever..
dont be worry have peace and be cool in your behaviour, u are a nice girl ur step mother and father will someday get this fact.
and in case of ur brother and sister always provide them ur love.hope ur life will be better .........
abhishek
you should talk to your father first. in case no luck, then get shifted to some hostel or something. Seek your father's advice first.
I know exactly how you feel, but instead of my grand mom, i never get to see my own dad and i miss him! Only because my mum wont allow it though. I mean i make so many achievements in my life but alwyas get put down by my family and never congradulated, but my twin does when she doesn't achieve half the things i do ! All i have learned from having a life like this is to not give up or lose confidence in yourself!!
With your progress, you should be proud and happy of yourself! If nobody else is proud of you or gives you recognition for your progress then be happy for yourself !
Tell your step siblings to stop doing it and if they continute then they will not have your support with their problems in the future or something like that. Don't take it off them, if you let them act like that now then its only going to get worse.
Talk to your friends about how you feel or any other family members, telling your feelings can help you feel less stressed!
Hope this helped at all!xxx
Well you know youre like a modern day cinderella but dont lose youre confidents no matter what happens just believe in youre self and dont ever listen to any people who discourage you they are just jealouse of you but dont worry someday you might meet someone who will love you if this happens than you now have someone that loves you and someone that you lives right? but dont worry just always believe in youre self and don let anyone underestimate you.. well good luck than ill be cheeringg for you work harder ok goodluck LOL
Your only option is to put up with it the best you can until you are an adult. Then move out.
It doesnt matter if you are nice to her or not she will never replace your mom/granny. Just make sure you do good in school and get a good job when you are done. Make this experience and her dislike of you force you to work harder in school.Hey ppl u'll who ans are really nice..i wanna share a personal prob. love to get some advice on?
Scream at your mom. That might sound bad, but when my step mom does that and when she gets tired of me doing better than her son she makes life a living hell, so i take a deep breath in and scream it all out. Tell her your not afraid to run away. Let her know that your not going to be pushed around. If she says ';Fine run away, see who misses you'; then do. Only stay gone for 1 or 2 nights and when you get back your dad will be soooo happy, and your step mom will be soooo gone.
hie!i know how hard is to live wid this kind peole!but if u want to become successful in life JUST IGNORE THEM!i know u will b thinking wat will happen if i do this!but this the only key to success!and for that best of luck for ur life!and also try to talk to ur dad about this!
or else just do sum trick that will tell ur dad wat r u going under!
u cant do anythng with ur step mom...but yeah dont tolerate ur siblings..the next time they shout or insult you just bash them up..protect ur self respect...stand up for ur right dont be scared..dont let them depress you...study hard and try to move out of the house for ur university..and yeah talk to ur dad..he has to listen to you or just scare him that if he doesnt u will run away from him forever..
dont be worry have peace and be cool in your behaviour, u are a nice girl ur step mother and father will someday get this fact.
and in case of ur brother and sister always provide them ur love.hope ur life will be better .........
abhishek
you should talk to your father first. in case no luck, then get shifted to some hostel or something. Seek your father's advice first.
I know exactly how you feel, but instead of my grand mom, i never get to see my own dad and i miss him! Only because my mum wont allow it though. I mean i make so many achievements in my life but alwyas get put down by my family and never congradulated, but my twin does when she doesn't achieve half the things i do ! All i have learned from having a life like this is to not give up or lose confidence in yourself!!
With your progress, you should be proud and happy of yourself! If nobody else is proud of you or gives you recognition for your progress then be happy for yourself !
Tell your step siblings to stop doing it and if they continute then they will not have your support with their problems in the future or something like that. Don't take it off them, if you let them act like that now then its only going to get worse.
Talk to your friends about how you feel or any other family members, telling your feelings can help you feel less stressed!
Hope this helped at all!xxx
Well you know youre like a modern day cinderella but dont lose youre confidents no matter what happens just believe in youre self and dont ever listen to any people who discourage you they are just jealouse of you but dont worry someday you might meet someone who will love you if this happens than you now have someone that loves you and someone that you lives right? but dont worry just always believe in youre self and don let anyone underestimate you.. well good luck than ill be cheeringg for you work harder ok goodluck LOL
Please help give me advice on bf that i really love... should i let go of his past? he had sex w/ random grl?
so he told me it was just a random grl at this party, he didn't even know her. he says it was only once, but i'm worried as heck that he'll do it again eventually... even though he says he's changed/grown up/etc. and i have to admit he is quite different now, i can't even imagine him doing something like that if he hadn't told me himself... still it hurts whenever i imagine him with some grl even though he didn't know me yet back then... any advice? can guys grow out of being irresponsible... should i consider leaving him... becuz now i'm feeling insecure and all... we've never even had sex, i'm kind of jealous/hurt/sad/mad at his past... am i being unreasonable? i just don't understand how guys can have sex without even knowing the girl...Please help give me advice on bf that i really love... should i let go of his past? he had sex w/ random grl?
It was in his past, give him the benefit of the doubt, and accept that he did this. You are just going to have to trust that he wouldn't do it again.Please help give me advice on bf that i really love... should i let go of his past? he had sex w/ random grl?
If I were you I'd personally leave him. Someone that's not faithful is likely to repeat that process, and he was unfaithful enough to have sex with a random girl. However, he may have grown up as you say. Personally, I'd talk with him and tell him how that hurt me and how unfaithful he was to me. I would consider leaving him though; his unfaithfulness is not worth it.
ummm...
go to crving 4 cash 4 lots of money ok? littlemi21 reffered you ok?
guys are just stupidblush color makeup video
It was in his past, give him the benefit of the doubt, and accept that he did this. You are just going to have to trust that he wouldn't do it again.Please help give me advice on bf that i really love... should i let go of his past? he had sex w/ random grl?
If I were you I'd personally leave him. Someone that's not faithful is likely to repeat that process, and he was unfaithful enough to have sex with a random girl. However, he may have grown up as you say. Personally, I'd talk with him and tell him how that hurt me and how unfaithful he was to me. I would consider leaving him though; his unfaithfulness is not worth it.
ummm...
go to crving 4 cash 4 lots of money ok? littlemi21 reffered you ok?
guys are just stupid
I really need the best advice on this one. I still love my ex but could be falling for my friend.?
my girlfriend of 4 yrs and i decided to break up about a month ago b/c we started to realize that we were feeling more like buddies instead of a couple in a romantic relationship.we never have cheated on each other and have always been 100% honest with each other, but after 4 totally smooth, awesome yrs for some reason she still feels like i would cheat on her which was the biggest kick in the balls i have ever had.So for the past month that we havent been together i have been confiding in a really good friend (girl) from high school that has been the best at listening to me go on and on about my ex and all our problems.the 3 of us went to high school together and my ex has always thought i had a thing for my friend b\c i always talk to her when i have a big problem with my ex.so to make a long story short my ex's jealousy has pushed me away but i still care about her deeply.the irony is that over this month i have started to fall for my friend who has an idea of my feelings..somewhat
38 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
7 minutes ago
i mean yeah i mean if i were my ex i would be a bet worried too but my ex not trusting me after 4 long years from high school through college is a slap in the face for me..especially after you consider the fact that i have never even came close to cheating on her ever. i mean i not saying i deserve a cookie for being faithful, im just saying that really hurts!
1 minute ago
if you dont trust somone after 4 great non-cheating yrs..whats the point i mean what is the relationship based on??I really need the best advice on this one. I still love my ex but could be falling for my friend.?
my question for you is,which love is stronger, you ';ex'; love or your ';friend'; love. think about that, because you could still have some leftover feeling for you ex, but if you say your falling, maybe that love has a stronger effect on you. It all depends on how strong your feelings are about these people, and it should probably sort itself out if you think about it long and hard.
another question i have is, would you still want to be with someone who doesnt trust you? if your ex doesnt trust YOU, how could YOU trust HER!?! you want to be with someone you can trust and that they can trust you. Im pretty sure you can figure the questions out, you just need to think about your own feelings.I really need the best advice on this one. I still love my ex but could be falling for my friend.?
I would see whats going on with the new girl. If she thought you were cheating on you when you were dating then there is no trust. See what else is out there for you.
without trust, you have NOTHING.
that is the foundation that every relationship needs to be built on.
if you did not cheat, then she is very insecure. let her figure her stuff out.
Some people just do have trouble trusting. It's not always their fault. For instance I was cheated on very badly two relationships in a row a few years ago and it has scarred me for life. It was only more recently being in a very loving relationship (which ended on good terms after we realised we were best friends and not really romantic, similar to yourself and your ex) that I have been able to trust that not all women are cheaters.
I think you should honestly explain things to your ex and try to make her understand your situation. It sounds like you could have a good thing with this other girl.
some people have a hard time trusting people so don't put it on her. I don't think it is a good idea to go out with your other friend. it will only confirm what your girlfriend though about your relation. it won't matter if you don't want to go back to her, but if it is the case, don't mess around with the other girl. you might loose them both.
well, trust is the base of any relationship. but if i would be ur gf i may feel the same like ur gf is feeling because i obviously don't like that my bf talk to another girl about our personal matter.
u told u had break up. then u told u still love ur ex %26amp; after that u r falling for ur friend... ur feelings are not clear...
falling for ur friend is just bcoz she is close to u now when ur ex is not wid u..... being faithful doesn't mean that u can't hurt ur hubbies... plz try to understand ur gf...she is not jealus but she loves u so much .... as a girl i understand i don't like my bf talk to other girl about personal problems however she is our common friend....
u think first...what do u want ??
ur ex or ur friend.......
if u think u love ur ex bcoz she still loves %26amp; u can't hurt her then don't go back to her bcoz you will not be able to give her that love..then hook up to ur friend...
but if u still love ur ex %26amp; think that falling for this friend is just an attraction bcoz of being close ..then i think go back to ur ex..... she is a girl %26amp; it is common to think that u have cheated her.............
discuss this with ur ex %26amp; ur friend also... %26amp; then decide...
i hope i helped...
OK, are you trying to make it OK for you to go ahead and have feelings for your friend. Your friend has always been there when you were having problems with your ex. She knows everything and probably has been waiting for you to come around. Do you want to continue this relationship or do you want to have a life with your ex? It is your choice and your life.I really wish you the best.
38 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
7 minutes ago
i mean yeah i mean if i were my ex i would be a bet worried too but my ex not trusting me after 4 long years from high school through college is a slap in the face for me..especially after you consider the fact that i have never even came close to cheating on her ever. i mean i not saying i deserve a cookie for being faithful, im just saying that really hurts!
1 minute ago
if you dont trust somone after 4 great non-cheating yrs..whats the point i mean what is the relationship based on??I really need the best advice on this one. I still love my ex but could be falling for my friend.?
my question for you is,which love is stronger, you ';ex'; love or your ';friend'; love. think about that, because you could still have some leftover feeling for you ex, but if you say your falling, maybe that love has a stronger effect on you. It all depends on how strong your feelings are about these people, and it should probably sort itself out if you think about it long and hard.
another question i have is, would you still want to be with someone who doesnt trust you? if your ex doesnt trust YOU, how could YOU trust HER!?! you want to be with someone you can trust and that they can trust you. Im pretty sure you can figure the questions out, you just need to think about your own feelings.I really need the best advice on this one. I still love my ex but could be falling for my friend.?
I would see whats going on with the new girl. If she thought you were cheating on you when you were dating then there is no trust. See what else is out there for you.
without trust, you have NOTHING.
that is the foundation that every relationship needs to be built on.
if you did not cheat, then she is very insecure. let her figure her stuff out.
Some people just do have trouble trusting. It's not always their fault. For instance I was cheated on very badly two relationships in a row a few years ago and it has scarred me for life. It was only more recently being in a very loving relationship (which ended on good terms after we realised we were best friends and not really romantic, similar to yourself and your ex) that I have been able to trust that not all women are cheaters.
I think you should honestly explain things to your ex and try to make her understand your situation. It sounds like you could have a good thing with this other girl.
some people have a hard time trusting people so don't put it on her. I don't think it is a good idea to go out with your other friend. it will only confirm what your girlfriend though about your relation. it won't matter if you don't want to go back to her, but if it is the case, don't mess around with the other girl. you might loose them both.
well, trust is the base of any relationship. but if i would be ur gf i may feel the same like ur gf is feeling because i obviously don't like that my bf talk to another girl about our personal matter.
u told u had break up. then u told u still love ur ex %26amp; after that u r falling for ur friend... ur feelings are not clear...
falling for ur friend is just bcoz she is close to u now when ur ex is not wid u..... being faithful doesn't mean that u can't hurt ur hubbies... plz try to understand ur gf...she is not jealus but she loves u so much .... as a girl i understand i don't like my bf talk to other girl about personal problems however she is our common friend....
u think first...what do u want ??
ur ex or ur friend.......
if u think u love ur ex bcoz she still loves %26amp; u can't hurt her then don't go back to her bcoz you will not be able to give her that love..then hook up to ur friend...
but if u still love ur ex %26amp; think that falling for this friend is just an attraction bcoz of being close ..then i think go back to ur ex..... she is a girl %26amp; it is common to think that u have cheated her.............
discuss this with ur ex %26amp; ur friend also... %26amp; then decide...
i hope i helped...
OK, are you trying to make it OK for you to go ahead and have feelings for your friend. Your friend has always been there when you were having problems with your ex. She knows everything and probably has been waiting for you to come around. Do you want to continue this relationship or do you want to have a life with your ex? It is your choice and your life.I really wish you the best.
Pls help me with advice on getting a guy i love since 8 years?
The thing is i didnt see him for 3 years, but we live in the same city.
We went to school toghether, got along well, i was in love and dumm, he might have also been inlove, and shy.
For a while we seemed to get closer, we confided a lot in each other, but then i ruined everithing by getting mad and always snapping at him.
Only later did i realise that he is the love of my life, and after the anger cooled down, i still wanted him.
But we have no opportunity to meet.
Now i found this guy on hi5, should i contact him and if yes, what should i say to conquer him.
Remember, he is shy and thinks that i might hate him.
PLS HELP!Pls help me with advice on getting a guy i love since 8 years?
You should ask him how he feels about you straight up. If you want to get this situation over with then ask him, if you want to still wait and see if he will ask you out then keep teasing him, flirting, and even try to kiss him. Try to give him stronger signs that he likes you. If you say that he might you then you should clear it up with him that you didn't mean to be bitchy and tell him the reason that you were mad. You seriously need to have a conversation with him so that you don't go crazy. Sounds like you need an answer now.Pls help me with advice on getting a guy i love since 8 years?
contact him and tell him that u really do love him and want to be with him
We went to school toghether, got along well, i was in love and dumm, he might have also been inlove, and shy.
For a while we seemed to get closer, we confided a lot in each other, but then i ruined everithing by getting mad and always snapping at him.
Only later did i realise that he is the love of my life, and after the anger cooled down, i still wanted him.
But we have no opportunity to meet.
Now i found this guy on hi5, should i contact him and if yes, what should i say to conquer him.
Remember, he is shy and thinks that i might hate him.
PLS HELP!Pls help me with advice on getting a guy i love since 8 years?
You should ask him how he feels about you straight up. If you want to get this situation over with then ask him, if you want to still wait and see if he will ask you out then keep teasing him, flirting, and even try to kiss him. Try to give him stronger signs that he likes you. If you say that he might you then you should clear it up with him that you didn't mean to be bitchy and tell him the reason that you were mad. You seriously need to have a conversation with him so that you don't go crazy. Sounds like you need an answer now.Pls help me with advice on getting a guy i love since 8 years?
contact him and tell him that u really do love him and want to be with him
I need some advice on this case of unrequited love?
There is this guy from my old school, from another country. We've been in a class for 2 years and i liked him - a lot. He did too but he never said it or never cared enough to say.
It's been 2 years now i left that country and i haven't seen him since, but we are still keeping contact, now he's the kind of guy that doesn't talk that much and you never realy know what he feels and stuff, but we are still good friends and I still have feelings for him.
I don't seem to like anyone else, its just like i don't care about anyone else. Today i found out that he has a girlfriend and its pretty serious.
I knew that girl and we were in some kind of cold war back then in school because we both liked this guy. An now i'm devastated. We were connecting so well and i have so many happy memories with him. I never gave up hope and was still waiting for the right time. Now, i don't know if i should just ignore him for the rest of my life or if i should talk to him and pretend everythings alright or if i should talk to him about it. Help please
We are both rather quiet and shy and don't talk much.
I'm 18 by the way.I need some advice on this case of unrequited love?
well don't ignore him, but if you feel like you love him maybe you should tell him you do. there is noting wrong with it and if he did or still does love you then it makes things worth while. if you don't say anything to him about your feelings it will bother you for the rest of your life and if he then says your weird, creepy, or even if he says why didn't u tell em earlier then just go with it. if you ignore him those feelings will never go away and if you did say something then they still wont, but getting your feelings off your chest will be better for you in the long run. if he will not leave his current gf then you should try ot see other people. it will help you to somewhat move on and it will help you with dealing with him having a girlfriend.
It's been 2 years now i left that country and i haven't seen him since, but we are still keeping contact, now he's the kind of guy that doesn't talk that much and you never realy know what he feels and stuff, but we are still good friends and I still have feelings for him.
I don't seem to like anyone else, its just like i don't care about anyone else. Today i found out that he has a girlfriend and its pretty serious.
I knew that girl and we were in some kind of cold war back then in school because we both liked this guy. An now i'm devastated. We were connecting so well and i have so many happy memories with him. I never gave up hope and was still waiting for the right time. Now, i don't know if i should just ignore him for the rest of my life or if i should talk to him and pretend everythings alright or if i should talk to him about it. Help please
We are both rather quiet and shy and don't talk much.
I'm 18 by the way.I need some advice on this case of unrequited love?
well don't ignore him, but if you feel like you love him maybe you should tell him you do. there is noting wrong with it and if he did or still does love you then it makes things worth while. if you don't say anything to him about your feelings it will bother you for the rest of your life and if he then says your weird, creepy, or even if he says why didn't u tell em earlier then just go with it. if you ignore him those feelings will never go away and if you did say something then they still wont, but getting your feelings off your chest will be better for you in the long run. if he will not leave his current gf then you should try ot see other people. it will help you to somewhat move on and it will help you with dealing with him having a girlfriend.
What would yI advice on how to forget a love. My situation is fairly unique.ou like to ask?
I love this girl more than anybody, more than I love myself, more than my own mother, but I need to not love her so I can find somebody else because we can't ever be together now.
P.S. It's real love... I'd get blown up by a nuclear bomb for her.
I haven't seen or herd from her in over nine years and I can't seem to forget her. And yeah I've dated other people but I am always compare every woman I see(I mean every woman no acceptions) to her. I know it's just because I wish it was her.What would yI advice on how to forget a love. My situation is fairly unique.ou like to ask?
this is really unhealthy. My advice would be to just GET OUT THERE and experience new things...anything to take your mind off her. I know it sounds like it won't work, but you have to forget her.
But how do you know that it can't work out? If you haven't seen her or heard from her in 9 years, how do you know how she feels? You need to get back in touch with this person and talk with them. And if it doesn't work, then you need to do what i mentioned above. good luckWhat would yI advice on how to forget a love. My situation is fairly unique.ou like to ask?
It is always hard to forget someone who is etched in your mind. I would try a hobby, a journal, anything new. If you have to try to find someone to replace her. I know how hard that seems, i have been there. You will never truly find someone for you if you compare everyone to her. All women are different in some way. You just have to work hard on a daily basis trying to get her out of your head and stop comparing. If you think about her, start thinking something gross if you have to or something funny. Anything you can do to help yourself move on will make your future without her easier.
Come on now...this is not healthy and you know it. You are wasting your life away, and wouldn't recognize love if it walked right by u. Make yourself get out there and start living. You'd be suprised how fast you'll move on if you let yourself.
aww thats so sweet she would be lucky to have you there is no true way to forget love but you could look her up and have her as a penpal and i know they say long distance relationships never work but true love has no boundries
P.S. It's real love... I'd get blown up by a nuclear bomb for her.
I haven't seen or herd from her in over nine years and I can't seem to forget her. And yeah I've dated other people but I am always compare every woman I see(I mean every woman no acceptions) to her. I know it's just because I wish it was her.What would yI advice on how to forget a love. My situation is fairly unique.ou like to ask?
this is really unhealthy. My advice would be to just GET OUT THERE and experience new things...anything to take your mind off her. I know it sounds like it won't work, but you have to forget her.
But how do you know that it can't work out? If you haven't seen her or heard from her in 9 years, how do you know how she feels? You need to get back in touch with this person and talk with them. And if it doesn't work, then you need to do what i mentioned above. good luckWhat would yI advice on how to forget a love. My situation is fairly unique.ou like to ask?
It is always hard to forget someone who is etched in your mind. I would try a hobby, a journal, anything new. If you have to try to find someone to replace her. I know how hard that seems, i have been there. You will never truly find someone for you if you compare everyone to her. All women are different in some way. You just have to work hard on a daily basis trying to get her out of your head and stop comparing. If you think about her, start thinking something gross if you have to or something funny. Anything you can do to help yourself move on will make your future without her easier.
Come on now...this is not healthy and you know it. You are wasting your life away, and wouldn't recognize love if it walked right by u. Make yourself get out there and start living. You'd be suprised how fast you'll move on if you let yourself.
aww thats so sweet she would be lucky to have you there is no true way to forget love but you could look her up and have her as a penpal and i know they say long distance relationships never work but true love has no boundries
In need some advice on a boy im in love with, his name is Cody, and i know he's the one, so does my family.?
Okay. I'm pretty sure im in love with a boy at the HS i just graduated from. He's a junior. He's immature, but beautiful, in every way. I really want to be with him, he knows i like him, and anytime i ask him about it im pretty sure he lies to me, either that or he's just saying other stuff to everyone else... but i really do love him. Honest. I know he's the one, i can just feel it, and i can't ever forget him, and i just want to cry because i dont have him. I dunno. I don't know what to do, i just want some advice..In need some advice on a boy im in love with, his name is Cody, and i know he's the one, so does my family.?
Tell him not us, we will give you answers but the true answer can only come form him- Go find him now and dont hold nothing back, what do you got to lose- alot if you dont
If hes the one it will work out, but you are young and got a long future ahead of you-In need some advice on a boy im in love with, his name is Cody, and i know he's the one, so does my family.?
call him right now and tell him everything ,that you want !!!!!
just be patience with him
Have you asked him how he feels about you? I would suggest you to be friends with him and get to know him. If he doesn't feel a thing about you or doesn't show any interest in you, then know that he might not be the one for you. Keep talking to him and be his friend! Then you can really see for yourself who he is.
You can probably get him by showing him that you love him physically.
Tell him not us, we will give you answers but the true answer can only come form him- Go find him now and dont hold nothing back, what do you got to lose- alot if you dont
If hes the one it will work out, but you are young and got a long future ahead of you-In need some advice on a boy im in love with, his name is Cody, and i know he's the one, so does my family.?
call him right now and tell him everything ,that you want !!!!!
just be patience with him
Have you asked him how he feels about you? I would suggest you to be friends with him and get to know him. If he doesn't feel a thing about you or doesn't show any interest in you, then know that he might not be the one for you. Keep talking to him and be his friend! Then you can really see for yourself who he is.
You can probably get him by showing him that you love him physically.
Please Help! - Need advice on getting a girl I love! I don't fit it, but I have potential!?
Okay, so first of all I am an anxious idiot when it comes to girlfriends. I am 15, and my physical attributes are not a problem, b/c I seem to get a lot of girls liking me (sadly I rarely like them back). Anyways i went to a school with about 50 kids, no grades, no homework, and lots of freedom. I went to highschool last year for the first time. I am doing fine, but socially its tough for me. Last year i was a mute, but this year I am being myself, I am funny and people like me. I really have trouble fitting in though. Everyone seems so immature and in their own little world. I am lonely. I need someone besides my best friend to talk to. This girl morgan is everything I want, I talk to her on occasion, but I need to know how to become friends with her, and then how to tell her how I feel. I am Bipolar and I keep getting depressed as **** everyday I come home lonely. Please, i think she likes me, but she seems to be very ';conventional'; when it comes to relationships! Please Help!!!!Please Help! - Need advice on getting a girl I love! I don't fit it, but I have potential!?
Maybe you're growing up faster than the chicks your own age, dude. Go for some 17-19 year old chicks.
If you really want this Morgan chick, you should just relax and not act all desparate around her. If she likes you, it will happen. If she doesn't, then them's the breaks. If she wants a 'conventional' relationship, and you really like her, then just go for it! What's stopping you?Please Help! - Need advice on getting a girl I love! I don't fit it, but I have potential!?
Approach her... when no one is around... and start with ';You know what... I wanted to tell you this for quite sometime... but I just felt that not telling you this will keep on kiiling me... the fact is that I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH... and would just want to befriend you... would you go out on a DATE with me???';
Rest you shall take care...
my dude chill out if u like and truely like then ull go up to adn have a convo about the stuff that is going through ur mind about the 2 of u. also try to talk to her friends and see what she like so that way u can surprise her i mean relationships are hard but the most important thing to do is to be urself so go out there and hook her in a convo and try to reel her in ok best of luck to ya hope every thing works out
hey...all of us go through this at some point ...its called growing up ....it'll change dont worry
well it does not matter when you are an idiot to make a girl fall in love with always remember to smile and say things you are good at or something true about you. you must know on what she likes about men give her space just like her watching movies alone and eating without you and then there will be a time for her to decide then tell her whats true about her what you like about her then when you see her smiling and looking at you in the eye well done. the final word i say show respect. and give her flowersblush color makeup video
Maybe you're growing up faster than the chicks your own age, dude. Go for some 17-19 year old chicks.
If you really want this Morgan chick, you should just relax and not act all desparate around her. If she likes you, it will happen. If she doesn't, then them's the breaks. If she wants a 'conventional' relationship, and you really like her, then just go for it! What's stopping you?Please Help! - Need advice on getting a girl I love! I don't fit it, but I have potential!?
Approach her... when no one is around... and start with ';You know what... I wanted to tell you this for quite sometime... but I just felt that not telling you this will keep on kiiling me... the fact is that I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH... and would just want to befriend you... would you go out on a DATE with me???';
Rest you shall take care...
my dude chill out if u like and truely like then ull go up to adn have a convo about the stuff that is going through ur mind about the 2 of u. also try to talk to her friends and see what she like so that way u can surprise her i mean relationships are hard but the most important thing to do is to be urself so go out there and hook her in a convo and try to reel her in ok best of luck to ya hope every thing works out
hey...all of us go through this at some point ...its called growing up ....it'll change dont worry
well it does not matter when you are an idiot to make a girl fall in love with always remember to smile and say things you are good at or something true about you. you must know on what she likes about men give her space just like her watching movies alone and eating without you and then there will be a time for her to decide then tell her whats true about her what you like about her then when you see her smiling and looking at you in the eye well done. the final word i say show respect. and give her flowers
Why is there so many kids on here asking for love advice right now? Shouldn't they be in school right now?
Or at least the kids who live in the Uk?Why is there so many kids on here asking for love advice right now? Shouldn't they be in school right now?
I think the first part of this question is very important. Why are there so many kids (please don't be offended!) asking for love advice? I thinks parents are not giving the advice they should be giving their young ones and not talking WITH them, which is a great shame, that is why so many are looking for answers here. Also here there are no emotional attachements to the discussions. Parents, please wake up and open your eyes, we are losing our children because we wont talk with (not at or to) with them about the issues of life!!!Why is there so many kids on here asking for love advice right now? Shouldn't they be in school right now?
maybe they asked after school.
or maybe they finished after yr 11, gcse's %26amp; all that.
or maybe they're on study leave for as or a level exams
maybe they just need advice, %26amp; they're relying on someone to give them an idea that might make them a little happier.
i'm 16, %26amp; my life's going just fine. i'm on study leave for my as exams. just because i'm happy doesn't mean every other ';kid'; is.
You're quite right there does seem to be alot of kids asking for love advice. I don't remember love at all been so complicated as a kid. Actually I don't think I was allowed a boyfriend when I was a kid so that may be why.
They could be:
+On half term - i'm on half term this following week but some schools are different
+They could be on holiday in a internet cafe
+They could be in year 11 and finished school
+They could be in an lesson or free period on the internet
+They could be off sick
i live in nz so its nite time here lol 10:38pm
and i wouldnt call myself a kid but u know some of those so called kids need help and clearly cant talk to there parents about it. so do you good deed 4 2 dae and help someone out!!
They ARE in school - the problem is, there's no responsible adult monitoring their computer use...and quite likely, no adult with the necessary competence in computer operations who's even capable of monitoring the children.
I didn't know kids get married so early nowadays. Why would they be on Marriage %26amp; Divorce forum anyway?
Yeah! they need a better education system.
they are probably in an ICT lesson and should be working but are not.
it's probably another flippin inset day, they seem to have them every week these days. they never had inset days when i was at school, so unfair! lol
schools getting out alot more kids will be flooding this thing now that summer break is here.
well you see, I'm on study leave, and half term is coming up.... and some ppl have free periods. and ppl on here are not as young as they may seem.
Shhhsssss the teacher is coming................
In service day as May weekend
and exam leave
a lot of kids have exams, so they should be on study leave!
Exam Leave
Shouldn't we all be doing something else right now??! lol.
Maybe they're ';ill';.
coz they want to educate themselve's better ask.. then never,,
its the May weekend, and when i was in school during free period we got internet access!!
I think the first part of this question is very important. Why are there so many kids (please don't be offended!) asking for love advice? I thinks parents are not giving the advice they should be giving their young ones and not talking WITH them, which is a great shame, that is why so many are looking for answers here. Also here there are no emotional attachements to the discussions. Parents, please wake up and open your eyes, we are losing our children because we wont talk with (not at or to) with them about the issues of life!!!Why is there so many kids on here asking for love advice right now? Shouldn't they be in school right now?
maybe they asked after school.
or maybe they finished after yr 11, gcse's %26amp; all that.
or maybe they're on study leave for as or a level exams
maybe they just need advice, %26amp; they're relying on someone to give them an idea that might make them a little happier.
i'm 16, %26amp; my life's going just fine. i'm on study leave for my as exams. just because i'm happy doesn't mean every other ';kid'; is.
You're quite right there does seem to be alot of kids asking for love advice. I don't remember love at all been so complicated as a kid. Actually I don't think I was allowed a boyfriend when I was a kid so that may be why.
They could be:
+On half term - i'm on half term this following week but some schools are different
+They could be on holiday in a internet cafe
+They could be in year 11 and finished school
+They could be in an lesson or free period on the internet
+They could be off sick
i live in nz so its nite time here lol 10:38pm
and i wouldnt call myself a kid but u know some of those so called kids need help and clearly cant talk to there parents about it. so do you good deed 4 2 dae and help someone out!!
They ARE in school - the problem is, there's no responsible adult monitoring their computer use...and quite likely, no adult with the necessary competence in computer operations who's even capable of monitoring the children.
I didn't know kids get married so early nowadays. Why would they be on Marriage %26amp; Divorce forum anyway?
Yeah! they need a better education system.
they are probably in an ICT lesson and should be working but are not.
it's probably another flippin inset day, they seem to have them every week these days. they never had inset days when i was at school, so unfair! lol
schools getting out alot more kids will be flooding this thing now that summer break is here.
well you see, I'm on study leave, and half term is coming up.... and some ppl have free periods. and ppl on here are not as young as they may seem.
Shhhsssss the teacher is coming................
In service day as May weekend
and exam leave
a lot of kids have exams, so they should be on study leave!
Exam Leave
Shouldn't we all be doing something else right now??! lol.
Maybe they're ';ill';.
coz they want to educate themselve's better ask.. then never,,
its the May weekend, and when i was in school during free period we got internet access!!
Any advice on ex's still in love?
My girlfriend of 7 months (and we even knew each other and had a feelings a while be fore that) broke up about 3 and a half months ago, because she couldn't stay with me because of our religious differences. Here's the thing - we both still love each other. We try not to talk, so that we can get over it, but once school starts back up (we'll both be seniors in high school) we'll see each other every day. She called me at midnight on her birthday when I sent her a happy birthday text, and she'd been balling. She's told me that she got with this new guy to try to get over me, but it doesn't really work. Please, any advice?Any advice on ex's still in love?
You'll never come to agreement or compromise when it comes to religion. There will always be conflict. Someone else here said that ';what is meant to be, will always be.'; That's true, but sometimes it's ok to make it happen. If you and this girl really love each other, and no one knows that better than you, why not be together? Unless one of you is an atheist, why can't you just agree to disagree? You're only hurting yourselves by not being together if you both know you really want to. Get your girl back, Senior.Any advice on ex's still in love?
well i think that if you guys still love each other you both should try to work out your religious problems. if it is really serious then you should talk to your families, if they are okay with out. and if there is no way for you guys to work something about your religious difference then you should definitely try to ignore each other and get over each other.
Love doesn't recognize color, religion, financial status or sexual orientation so the sooner she realizes that the LOVE you share is a great gift and not to be thrown aside for such trivial reasons the sooner you will enjoy a great future together.
If she continues to let her church block your relationship you can convert to her religion or move on and find someone worthy.
The way I see it, you have two options %26amp; neither are easy - you 'get over it' or you two talk %26amp; find a solution/compromise so that you can be together.
As it's already been said, if it's meant to be then it'll be but keep remembering that anything worth having is worth working for.
if you both love each other then it shouln't be a problem. it doesn't matter about ur religion cause love is very strong and won't go away. you both can still see each other whether or not cause it doesn't matter about your parents its you two. your parents n hers were you two b4 and remember love can take you any where
i say skrew religious beliefs u 2 r in love thats what counts, if u 2 were truely i love you guys would wouldnt let any thing come between you you guys should look at each others differences and except them cause if you were in love you wouldnt care about your difference you would care about being together
over religious differences? obviously one of you are gonna have to buckle if you can't let eachother go. would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? if you'd rather be right, then get over it! and move on with your life.
if you two really love each other then you won't let religious differences stand in the way.
if u love then try to win her heart and tell her tht too. who cares what her religious says. love conquers everything
Get over it! People break up all the time!
What's meant to be will always find a way!
where ur god now i thought u turned to him in times of trouble ..i thought religion was meant to help not make things worst oh well never mind
You'll never come to agreement or compromise when it comes to religion. There will always be conflict. Someone else here said that ';what is meant to be, will always be.'; That's true, but sometimes it's ok to make it happen. If you and this girl really love each other, and no one knows that better than you, why not be together? Unless one of you is an atheist, why can't you just agree to disagree? You're only hurting yourselves by not being together if you both know you really want to. Get your girl back, Senior.Any advice on ex's still in love?
well i think that if you guys still love each other you both should try to work out your religious problems. if it is really serious then you should talk to your families, if they are okay with out. and if there is no way for you guys to work something about your religious difference then you should definitely try to ignore each other and get over each other.
Love doesn't recognize color, religion, financial status or sexual orientation so the sooner she realizes that the LOVE you share is a great gift and not to be thrown aside for such trivial reasons the sooner you will enjoy a great future together.
If she continues to let her church block your relationship you can convert to her religion or move on and find someone worthy.
The way I see it, you have two options %26amp; neither are easy - you 'get over it' or you two talk %26amp; find a solution/compromise so that you can be together.
As it's already been said, if it's meant to be then it'll be but keep remembering that anything worth having is worth working for.
if you both love each other then it shouln't be a problem. it doesn't matter about ur religion cause love is very strong and won't go away. you both can still see each other whether or not cause it doesn't matter about your parents its you two. your parents n hers were you two b4 and remember love can take you any where
i say skrew religious beliefs u 2 r in love thats what counts, if u 2 were truely i love you guys would wouldnt let any thing come between you you guys should look at each others differences and except them cause if you were in love you wouldnt care about your difference you would care about being together
over religious differences? obviously one of you are gonna have to buckle if you can't let eachother go. would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? if you'd rather be right, then get over it! and move on with your life.
if you two really love each other then you won't let religious differences stand in the way.
if u love then try to win her heart and tell her tht too. who cares what her religious says. love conquers everything
Get over it! People break up all the time!
What's meant to be will always find a way!
where ur god now i thought u turned to him in times of trouble ..i thought religion was meant to help not make things worst oh well never mind
Advice on losing my stomach and love handles.?
I am 37m, 6'3';, 185 so I am tall and thin. I have a pretty good body expect for my love handles and a bit of a stomach. I workout 4-5 days a week, primarily weights. I do cardio 2-3 times a week. I know abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym but its like I eat anything bad at all and it goes right there on my body. I also know you have to lose weight in general meaning you cant really lose in an area. Well, I dont need ot lose weight but I still have fat around my love handles and stomach. It drives me crazy. I am embarrassed to take off my shirt because my love handles just stick out. Its disgusting. Everything else looks great but that area. I eat healthy about 75% of the time and workout a lot. Any advice besides eating like an Olympic athelete 24/7?Advice on losing my stomach and love handles.?
i agree with SD.....what you may need to do is alot of crunches and sit up and things that will work on your stomach muscles, now in the begining your stomach may look bigger bcuz the muscles underneath the fat are gonna make it bulge out, but more muscles, more fat is burned in that area....so focus on abs in the weight lifting you do and see if that helpsAdvice on losing my stomach and love handles.?
do sit ups. work more with your stomach muscles.
i agree with SD.....what you may need to do is alot of crunches and sit up and things that will work on your stomach muscles, now in the begining your stomach may look bigger bcuz the muscles underneath the fat are gonna make it bulge out, but more muscles, more fat is burned in that area....so focus on abs in the weight lifting you do and see if that helpsAdvice on losing my stomach and love handles.?
do sit ups. work more with your stomach muscles.
Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
Only been married 2 years but don't think I've ever really been in love with him.
I am being serious and would appreciate it if some of you would leave out your personal crude comments.Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
All married couples go through this. You begin to question your commitment and feelings for one another. Step back and remember what attracted you to him. Remember the fun times you used to have. Bring those fun times back. Be adventurous. Bring back that spark. Remember and re-live it.Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
Heres a forward i got-
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, '; How do I know if I married the right person ?';
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, '; It Depends. Is that your husband?';
In all seriousness, she answered '; How do you know?';
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called ';falling'; in love.... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, '; I was swept of my feet.'; Think about the Imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, '; Did I marry the right person?'; And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage......It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't ';find '; LASTING love. You have to ';make'; it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression '; the labor of love.';
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.There are specific things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...
You can '; make'; love.
Love in marriage is indeed a '; decision';... Not just a feeling.
You are responsible for your marriage. Dont give up till you have done your best!
you need to tell him how you feel and then probably split up.
Well did you ever think you loved him or was it lust?? The beginning of a relationship is always great and then you get married and with life things drag you down. Ask yourself do you want to work on this or get out. He is good for you?? Could you live on your own?? Think about it before you make a decision and regret it later.
Good luck
Your love for your husband just needs to be reborn. What you need to do is start doing different things together. Things that will have his undivide attention. Once he notices the effort you are putting into making him happy, he will start doing the same for you. Basically what I'm saying is the same things you did to get him to date you and marry you ,hey, its time to pull those bright ideas back out of the bag and keep them out. You shouldn't ever fall out of love with wanting to be love. And in order to be loved you have to give and show love. Love is a language in its own. If two people are both speaking it, imagine the possibilties. I hope everything works out for you. Another thing, before I go. You need to find out why you fell out of love with your husband. Maybe its something he's done or doing. Just explore that also.
A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.
Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.
Good Luck
The first answerer got it right. Marriage is for people in love. Doubts are no good. Have you tried counseling? How about talking to him about this? With such doubts, why did you marry him? Get ready to answer that one. But if there is no hope for the marriage, then let him go, so the two of you can find happiness with someone else.
Then you should be honest with him. Hopefully there aren't children involved because then it becomes a whole different ball game. If you don't think you EVER loved him, you need to get out.
well its time you stop lying to urself and him. if you dont think there's any chance you could love him. then get a divorce, but make sure thats what you want. sometimes we doubt and feel bad about stuff without fully giving it a chance. talk to someone who would be objective preferrably an professional. but def. dont stay in it just b/c you both derserve to meet your soul mates. Good Luck!
Don't lie to him or yourself any more. If you know your not in love with him it's just not far to continue living in a marriage that is domed. Be true to yourself and end it now.
Get out ... if you're not in love anymore leave him and start over. Stay single afterwards, for years if you want or try to find a guy again. But don't stay with a guy that you don't love. The other solution, find a guy who will give LOTS of pleasure and stay with your hubby.
you should leave,cause thats two yrs you already wasted. not just your time but his. its not fair for either one of you to live unhappy,especially him. you need to let him go, so he can find someone who loves him as much as he loves them.and you should be happy with someone your going to spend the rest of your life with full time not part time
This is almost my same situation!!!! I have been with my husband for 6 years, he and I were High School sweetharts and I did love him very much. But things and people change. I grew up, he got a little too controling, I am now 21, and am seeing things in a whole new light. We have been married for almost 2 years in Oct. In June I finally took the step to tell him I want to move out. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and now I am trying to find an aprtment with a friend of mine.
If you do not love him, you should be fair to him and yourself! If its not there you cant force it.
I do believe that if you are not inlove.. do not stay in the marriage... your not being fair to your mate, because he needs someone who can lvoe him like he loves you... your hurting the both of you the longer it goes on.. if your not inlove... your not happy... good luck
If you are not in love with him and haven't been in love with him,then you need to leave. After two years and you still feel this way, you seriously need to let him know so that he can have a chance to find someone that will truly love him and be in love with him. Your not being fair to him by staying in a marriage that you will never be able to put your all into and you need to be fair to yourself ,you know that you aren't in love, Don't you want to be with someone that will give you that magical feeling? It may hurt to tell your husband, but if you don't your going to stay there another two years and that time could be with someone that you are truly happy with. GOOD LUCK
I am being serious and would appreciate it if some of you would leave out your personal crude comments.Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
All married couples go through this. You begin to question your commitment and feelings for one another. Step back and remember what attracted you to him. Remember the fun times you used to have. Bring those fun times back. Be adventurous. Bring back that spark. Remember and re-live it.Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
Heres a forward i got-
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, '; How do I know if I married the right person ?';
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, '; It Depends. Is that your husband?';
In all seriousness, she answered '; How do you know?';
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called ';falling'; in love.... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, '; I was swept of my feet.'; Think about the Imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, '; Did I marry the right person?'; And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage......It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't ';find '; LASTING love. You have to ';make'; it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression '; the labor of love.';
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.There are specific things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...
You can '; make'; love.
Love in marriage is indeed a '; decision';... Not just a feeling.
You are responsible for your marriage. Dont give up till you have done your best!
you need to tell him how you feel and then probably split up.
Well did you ever think you loved him or was it lust?? The beginning of a relationship is always great and then you get married and with life things drag you down. Ask yourself do you want to work on this or get out. He is good for you?? Could you live on your own?? Think about it before you make a decision and regret it later.
Good luck
Your love for your husband just needs to be reborn. What you need to do is start doing different things together. Things that will have his undivide attention. Once he notices the effort you are putting into making him happy, he will start doing the same for you. Basically what I'm saying is the same things you did to get him to date you and marry you ,hey, its time to pull those bright ideas back out of the bag and keep them out. You shouldn't ever fall out of love with wanting to be love. And in order to be loved you have to give and show love. Love is a language in its own. If two people are both speaking it, imagine the possibilties. I hope everything works out for you. Another thing, before I go. You need to find out why you fell out of love with your husband. Maybe its something he's done or doing. Just explore that also.
A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.
Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.
Good Luck
The first answerer got it right. Marriage is for people in love. Doubts are no good. Have you tried counseling? How about talking to him about this? With such doubts, why did you marry him? Get ready to answer that one. But if there is no hope for the marriage, then let him go, so the two of you can find happiness with someone else.
Then you should be honest with him. Hopefully there aren't children involved because then it becomes a whole different ball game. If you don't think you EVER loved him, you need to get out.
well its time you stop lying to urself and him. if you dont think there's any chance you could love him. then get a divorce, but make sure thats what you want. sometimes we doubt and feel bad about stuff without fully giving it a chance. talk to someone who would be objective preferrably an professional. but def. dont stay in it just b/c you both derserve to meet your soul mates. Good Luck!
Don't lie to him or yourself any more. If you know your not in love with him it's just not far to continue living in a marriage that is domed. Be true to yourself and end it now.
Get out ... if you're not in love anymore leave him and start over. Stay single afterwards, for years if you want or try to find a guy again. But don't stay with a guy that you don't love. The other solution, find a guy who will give LOTS of pleasure and stay with your hubby.
you should leave,cause thats two yrs you already wasted. not just your time but his. its not fair for either one of you to live unhappy,especially him. you need to let him go, so he can find someone who loves him as much as he loves them.and you should be happy with someone your going to spend the rest of your life with full time not part time
This is almost my same situation!!!! I have been with my husband for 6 years, he and I were High School sweetharts and I did love him very much. But things and people change. I grew up, he got a little too controling, I am now 21, and am seeing things in a whole new light. We have been married for almost 2 years in Oct. In June I finally took the step to tell him I want to move out. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and now I am trying to find an aprtment with a friend of mine.
If you do not love him, you should be fair to him and yourself! If its not there you cant force it.
I do believe that if you are not inlove.. do not stay in the marriage... your not being fair to your mate, because he needs someone who can lvoe him like he loves you... your hurting the both of you the longer it goes on.. if your not inlove... your not happy... good luck
If you are not in love with him and haven't been in love with him,then you need to leave. After two years and you still feel this way, you seriously need to let him know so that he can have a chance to find someone that will truly love him and be in love with him. Your not being fair to him by staying in a marriage that you will never be able to put your all into and you need to be fair to yourself ,you know that you aren't in love, Don't you want to be with someone that will give you that magical feeling? It may hurt to tell your husband, but if you don't your going to stay there another two years and that time could be with someone that you are truly happy with. GOOD LUCK
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