Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?

Only been married 2 years but don't think I've ever really been in love with him.





I am being serious and would appreciate it if some of you would leave out your personal crude comments.Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
All married couples go through this. You begin to question your commitment and feelings for one another. Step back and remember what attracted you to him. Remember the fun times you used to have. Bring those fun times back. Be adventurous. Bring back that spark. Remember and re-live it.Married and not in love w/ my husband, any advice on what I should do?
Heres a forward i got-


During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, '; How do I know if I married the right person ?';





I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, '; It Depends. Is that your husband?';





In all seriousness, she answered '; How do you know?';





Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's Weighing on your mind.





Here's the answer.





EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with Your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.





Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a


Completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called ';falling'; in love.... Because it's happening TO YOU.





People in love sometimes say, '; I was swept of my feet.'; Think about the Imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.





Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.


But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother ( if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.





The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.





At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, '; Did I marry the right person?'; And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.





Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.





But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage......It lies within it.





I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because ( listen carefully to this):





THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;


IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.





SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't ';find '; LASTING love. You have to ';make'; it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression '; the labor of love.';


Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.





Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.There are specific things you can do ( with or without your spouse ) to succeed with your marriage.





Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...





You can '; make'; love.





Love in marriage is indeed a '; decision';... Not just a feeling.





You are responsible for your marriage. Dont give up till you have done your best!
you need to tell him how you feel and then probably split up.
Well did you ever think you loved him or was it lust?? The beginning of a relationship is always great and then you get married and with life things drag you down. Ask yourself do you want to work on this or get out. He is good for you?? Could you live on your own?? Think about it before you make a decision and regret it later.





Good luck
Your love for your husband just needs to be reborn. What you need to do is start doing different things together. Things that will have his undivide attention. Once he notices the effort you are putting into making him happy, he will start doing the same for you. Basically what I'm saying is the same things you did to get him to date you and marry you ,hey, its time to pull those bright ideas back out of the bag and keep them out. You shouldn't ever fall out of love with wanting to be love. And in order to be loved you have to give and show love. Love is a language in its own. If two people are both speaking it, imagine the possibilties. I hope everything works out for you. Another thing, before I go. You need to find out why you fell out of love with your husband. Maybe its something he's done or doing. Just explore that also.
A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.





Marriage may be compared to a plant that requires daily nurture, daily attention, daily care and cultivation. It will not develop of its own accord; only as effort and will are exerted will it grow and mature. For a marriage to succeed, both husband and wife must be committed to its success. They must build an enduring love relationship that is centered in the heart of their consciousness. Their relationship must be nurtured with the water of loyalty and love.





Good Luck
The first answerer got it right. Marriage is for people in love. Doubts are no good. Have you tried counseling? How about talking to him about this? With such doubts, why did you marry him? Get ready to answer that one. But if there is no hope for the marriage, then let him go, so the two of you can find happiness with someone else.
Then you should be honest with him. Hopefully there aren't children involved because then it becomes a whole different ball game. If you don't think you EVER loved him, you need to get out.
well its time you stop lying to urself and him. if you dont think there's any chance you could love him. then get a divorce, but make sure thats what you want. sometimes we doubt and feel bad about stuff without fully giving it a chance. talk to someone who would be objective preferrably an professional. but def. dont stay in it just b/c you both derserve to meet your soul mates. Good Luck!
Don't lie to him or yourself any more. If you know your not in love with him it's just not far to continue living in a marriage that is domed. Be true to yourself and end it now.
Get out ... if you're not in love anymore leave him and start over. Stay single afterwards, for years if you want or try to find a guy again. But don't stay with a guy that you don't love. The other solution, find a guy who will give LOTS of pleasure and stay with your hubby.
you should leave,cause thats two yrs you already wasted. not just your time but his. its not fair for either one of you to live unhappy,especially him. you need to let him go, so he can find someone who loves him as much as he loves them.and you should be happy with someone your going to spend the rest of your life with full time not part time
This is almost my same situation!!!! I have been with my husband for 6 years, he and I were High School sweetharts and I did love him very much. But things and people change. I grew up, he got a little too controling, I am now 21, and am seeing things in a whole new light. We have been married for almost 2 years in Oct. In June I finally took the step to tell him I want to move out. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and now I am trying to find an aprtment with a friend of mine.


If you do not love him, you should be fair to him and yourself! If its not there you cant force it.
I do believe that if you are not inlove.. do not stay in the marriage... your not being fair to your mate, because he needs someone who can lvoe him like he loves you... your hurting the both of you the longer it goes on.. if your not inlove... your not happy... good luck
If you are not in love with him and haven't been in love with him,then you need to leave. After two years and you still feel this way, you seriously need to let him know so that he can have a chance to find someone that will truly love him and be in love with him. Your not being fair to him by staying in a marriage that you will never be able to put your all into and you need to be fair to yourself ,you know that you aren't in love, Don't you want to be with someone that will give you that magical feeling? It may hurt to tell your husband, but if you don't your going to stay there another two years and that time could be with someone that you are truly happy with. GOOD LUCK