Advice on a lost love one?

I lost my mother this year due to health problems with a heart attack. She passed away in march of this year. I've been suffering since it happened. I also suffer from depression from abuse as a child due to my evil father. I was on medication for it but it had a nasty affect on my body and I choose not to take any drugs. I have my good days and my bad days, but it seems as though the bad days over ride the good days. I come here on yahoo answers to search for questions all the time and it seems like a lot of you know what you are talking about and I know I'll get some good advice from some of you. Counseling seems out of the question, it hasn't help me before and I doubt it will.





I just need to know that I'm not crazy that I'm not the only one going through this that I can go on living life. I just want to find a way to find a balance so I can just go on and maybe be happy and hopeful one day.Advice on a lost love one?
I must mention, there are many, many different antidepressants, do NOT give up hope. . . .





I was also in the same situation as you, time passes, situations passes, and life goes on..... even though at the time, one wonders IF it will, BUT it really, really does, and believe it , it gets better. . . .





Had I not gone thru, what I had, I would not be the person I am today, which is much more than I was before all that took place.....





Hang in there, IT WILL GET BETTER, YOU WILL BE BETTER !!!!Advice on a lost love one?
I'm really sorry for your loss, and it sounds like you are suffering from depression.





I know what I'm talking about, I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I had to spend time at the mental hospital as an out patient last year.





';Thinking happy thoughts'; isn't always the solution for depression. When you are upset, try and find something where you can turn negative thoughts into something beautiful. Learn to play an intrument, write poetry or stories, draw, paint, sing...anything artistic. Usually when you become good at something artistic, negativity can become a beautiful thing.





Not everyday of your life is going to be fun filled and happy. When you are upset, cry. Talk to people about your feelings. Instead of crying about it, better yet, think deeply and try to find the problem, and attack it. Use something that keeps to sane when attacking the problem. Things that keep you sane are loved ones, good music, a favorite hobby...the reasons you wake up everyday. Use these things as your ';weapons'; against depression.





On days when you feel completly empty and bored, do something fun. Go to Blockbuster and rent a comedy. Go out with your friends. Read a funny book. Usually find something with humor, turn on the TV and go to Comedy Central. Watch The Simpsons and South Park, watch some good stand up comedy acts.





You're not alone. Whenever you feel like talking to someone, don't hesitate to email me at missfishy777@yahoo.com. I'll be happy to help you.
Hi Elizabeth, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I understand how it feels, I lost my mother to a sudden stroke a few years ago and it's a loss unlike any other.





In regards to depression I found that the best information I've seen is through reading or listening to the cd's of Tony Robbins. He does a set called Personal Power II that is awesome. In this he explains how the entire body has to WORK to maintain a depressed state so that when we are aware of this we can use it to improve our state of mind.





Of course, no matter how well you control this you will still suffer moments of missing loved ones who are gone but it's more easily passed because of the knowledge of how to deal with emotions.





I also find meditation very help.





And never forget how important diet and nutrition is in our overall wellness, that includes mental wellness.
You didn't need that medication... you just need time to heal, have you ever heard of the stages of death? Denial, depression, acceptance.... all of that? Try checking them out on the web. I'm so sorry for your loss... try reading ';Noboy's Perfect'; it helped me cope when I was having emotional problems like yours. ~Hope you feel better
if mom is near by, i would go to visit. take lunch and a blanket, lay it out on the grass, and talk to her. just because she isn't here in flesh anymore doesn't mean you can't still talk to her. my aunt visits her husbands grave almost every week. just to talk about her week and tell him what has been going on. she brings him things. pictures of the kids, every so often a beer (pours it on the grass) she does all of this to make her feel better. and even though he is gone, he is still a part of her life, because she makes a point to visit.
Mourning the death of a loved one is a long process. Grief comes like waves in the ocean. You'll be fine for a few days and then suddenly be filled with a tidal wave of grief. Time does help as the grief becomes less painful but you will experience the grief on some level for a long time.





You sound as though you have unresolved issues with your childhood that you need to work out. Find a good counselor - just because you've tried that before and it didn't help doesn't mean that it won't help this time. You might also consider grief counseling to help get you through the grief process too.
You will be happy but it will always hurt. I lost my dad when I was 16 and at 30 it still breaks my heart, but now I think about the good times and funny pranks he used to pull. I am sad to not have him, but happy and thankful for the years I did. If you have siblings, it helps to talk to them about memories and things. I would recommend a book that helped me through losing my dad as well as a recent divorce. It is called ';When Things Fall Apart'; by Pema Chodron. She is an American Buddhist nun and the book is beneficial for people of any religious background. Time heals all wounds, or at least band-aids it.
Your greiving -not crazy. It's so hard to loose a parent. I lost my dad when I was 17. It's been many yrs since then %26amp; I still miss him. It's just now I can miss him in a fond -near to my heart way-that takes time. I've also lost all my grandparents %26amp; my youngest sister. It took me a long time but I knew I had to go on. I had a young son then %26amp; his being there helped me. Do you have anyone to help you? Lately I've read Wayne Dyers book about intention %26amp; that helps. Anything he writes is so inspirational %26amp; will lift you up. You in my thoughts.
your not crazy you are handling the death of your mother (just like almost everyone else would...) but you do need to take something (not what you were taking the affect on your body could send you into a greater depression) but try something (medicine) that helps you be happy not something that forces you to be happy...everyone has down days...don't ruin your life...
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Nothing hurts like the pain of losing someone.





I too suffer from some depression. I tried counseling, but found it of little value as my therapist did not actually listen to me. I started taking St. John's wort, at just a slightly higher dosage than what the package says. While this does not make me HAPPY, it really does help take the edge off the overall sadness and I have many more good days than bad. I've checked this every year with my doctor and he has no concerns about it interacting with other meds. Perhaps this would help you too.





To answer your question, you are NOT crazy in the least. You are experiencing grief and recognize you need a hand of some kind to help you alleviate some of your depression. You'll be all right. It will just take time. I know that sounds hokey, but it 's true. As a side note, as we get into the ';festive, joyful'; holiday season, please know that almost everyone experiences some depression during this time. If you find your symptons increase, it's okay and pretty normal. Not only do we have our emotions to deal with, but also societal expectations of being joyful, and the longer hours of darkness which can also have a depressing effect on people. You will get through this and be a stronger, more caring person. You'll be in my thoughts. Take care.
losing some one is always hard. just think that every time that you are thinking of her she will be there with you. as the abuse of the father confront him about it even if you have to send him a letter. you are not alone in the feelings that you are having every one in their life has had it to. i am still trying to deal with mine.