been div, 4 years ,he acts like we're best buds or something, im just to nice ,gotta change that. how can a man be so incensitive?Why would your ex call and ask you for advice on his new love interest, im I just crap under his feet or what?
HA HA Join me on that one. My EX calls all the time to ask what she he do with his new love. It pisses me off but I am to nice to tell him what i really think. most time I say something like well what ever you do DONT DO this like you did to me .. HA HA ..Why would your ex call and ask you for advice on his new love interest, im I just crap under his feet or what?
My ex did that too. I didn't mind because I had left him.
Either he is rubbing it in he has someone, or he really trusts your opinions and judgment and sincerely wants your advice. I don't know your situation, so I don't know if he's a really nice guy or a game player just trying to make you upset. I hope if you don't like his calls you will tell him to stop. No sense letting him get you all upset over stuff that is his problem now...unless you want to be involved. Good luck.
turn the cards around girl....lol even if you gotta make it up, ask him a question about a guy see if he likes it and how does he respond.....i bet he wouldn't like it...he might shut up the next time you guys talk ;)
Ask him why it should matter what you think. What a nerve-I would blow him off like fly on a toilet seat Tell him to ask his friends if he has any
Tell him to leave you alone. He is your ex, you owe him nothing. Don't return his calls, emails whatever.
I just he figures that you would know him better that anyone.
So sure he might be insensitive for asking, but you should know by now that he's no good at reading your signals. You need to be straight with him about that fact that you don't like talking about stuff like that. Don't be mean, just honest.
either he still loves you or he just trust your judgment
He stills feels a connection to you, cares what you think, maybe even looking for your approval. If this is too hurtful for you, you will have to distance yourself from him, it only hurts because you still have feelings.
He either considers you a good friend %26amp; felt comfortable enough to ask you about her, or he just wanted to be a d**k and throw it in your face that he's found somebody.
Know those filters that people have in their brains that quickly monitors things they're going to say before they say it??
I'd say prolly about half the population was born without one.
He was clearly one of them.
MEN ARE STUPID
Well, if you feel he's being insensitive, then after so many years you still harbor many bad feelings and hatred about the split.
So, tell him you don't want to hear about it! That it hurts your feelings.
Finally, and this is up to every individual; my ex and I are best friends because we care about each other a great deal and are like siblings now. He always gives me advice on men and I give him advice. No, we don't meet the girlfriends or boyfriends, that is way too hard; but we do accept it.
Lot of it depends on if you have children. Children keeps spouses in touch forever so you tend to become better friends over time. No kids? You don't have to deal with it and need to tell him to stop asking about this stuff.
Good luck.
how can you let him get away with it. quit answering his calls
Men are like that. Give him the ';don't call me, I will call you '; speech.
I don't understand why you are even talking to the guy.
Either he trusts your judgement Kathleen or he still has feelings for you.
It is kind of insensitive of him though!
Once again: Open honest _COMMUNICATION_!
';ALL You NEED Is LOVE!';
THE B E A T L E S!
Vincent Reagan
';H A W K E Y E!';
:)
;)
Mainly because men are insensitive to most things and don't think... (sorry but its true) It may just be that he values your opinion after 'x' years together and may feel you know him best (unless he's the type of person to rub it in). Saying that if my ex banged on to be about his new love interests then I'd be inclined to think he was taking the mickey and tell him to 'kindly leave me alone' just in different wording of course, I only want to talk to him about our son. There is nothing wrong with being amicable but you do not have to feel down about the way he his, you divorced him so you must be better off out of it. Do not allow this man to make you feel bad. he's obviously not worth it, but advise if you wish. Hope that helped, even a tiny bit
He sounds self-centered. Next time he calls give him advice that will get him dumped. Keep doing it, he'll catch on...eventually.
Actually, he's not being insensitive as you may think
Even though you 2 are divorced, he evidently does not think you are ';just crap under his feet';. He must trust your judgement and your honesty as if anybody knows his faults and shortcomings best, it would be you.
You most likely would be brutally honest enough to give it to him straight where he is falling short on the relationship. So if anything, he most likley holds you in high respect to seek you out for the advice.
A strong relationship begins with a good friendship, but not all friendships make good intimate relationships. He evidently feels you are a friend. In addition, a friend with an inside track about him.
Please take it as a compliment from him. Most men are incapable of being dubious when it comes to seeking for advice. However, if you are not comfortable in him asking you about his love life problems, be honest and let him know you don't want to know the details of the mess and if it hurts you that he asks for this advice, be honest about that too and simply say, ';I feel you are being insensitive by asking me how to better your relationship with another woman.';
EDIT ADD: I saw another comment about being too nice. This was my latest advice to a person I gave to one who is guilty of that and aksed me how could they draw the line. I am asked for advice in person too from friends and co-workers along with on-line direct emails and chat rooms
It is ok to be generous of heart, but never to the point where one takes you for granted, takes advantage of you. or it becomes a burden. That is the line you draw for being nice vs. way too nice
that is insensitive, but use it to your advantage you know him better then this new chic probably but she probably has the same problems with him u did or eventually she will, so just bring up the stuff he use to do that annoyed you and tell hm not to do that, maybe he is asking u for that reason you know all his mistakes and what he should've done to correct thing I I assume.
My x husband gets that way at times too.. and we've been divorced for 10 years.. lol.. i can always tell when he's in his ';best bud'; mode, because he talks differently to me when his wife isnt around lol.. he even asked me what my oppinion was on them having a 2nd child lol.. Men are stupid plain and simple, ive never told my x husband anything about my personal life but i let him run at the mouth usually he gives me enough info to hang himself down the road if i ever need to pull it out..
you know what i know what your sayen but oviously he made some mistakes in his first marriage and doesn't want to make the same mistakes again, and i know you wish he could have been better for you but if you can't keep them at least teach them, some times you have to be the teacher instead of the tought!!
maybe he thought of you as his mother instead of his wife and that's why he has the nerve to call on your advices. just send your son packing and tell him not to call about his love life.
stop letting him do it and see what he does.....he-he
get the last laugh......don't give in to him.....good luck
people are insenstive and egocentric. sounds like maybe that's one reason he's an ex. just tell him the topic is off limits and stand your ground. the setting of boundaries is very important in all relationships. good luck!
Most men are insensitive. I don't think they realize it until you let them know. I personally think he is trying to make you jealous, because he still loves you. Otherwise, why would he even tell you if he was so in love with someone else. The next time he calls you....tell him to find someone else to confide in because you really don't give a crap and you actually have things to do besides hanging on the phone like a teenager. He lost your buddy, buddy friendship when you divorced.
he is either dumb or still considers you a friend.i no what you mean by too nice.i let people walk all over me and havent got the heart to tell them.we will go on a program together.
My ex-wife did this to me,,, after 18 years of marriage together, I realized that even though we couldn't live together we still cared for each other,,,, So in short,,, she still valued my advice and I gave her honest answers to her questions..
He might not be your husband anymore, but he still considers you a friend. You're blessed, most break-ups aren't that cool. Think further down the line when you might need his help. What comes around goes around.
why does it bother you?
maybe give him bad advice and see what happens.
