I'm a sensitive guy. Me and my gf just broke up but we can't stop talking to each other over the phone/email/etc. We miss each other and still love each other. The problem was that I found other women good-looking and in some cases liked features about them more than my gf. This made both of us feel bad/guilty/paranoid/hurt. I never wanted to be with anyone else, though. She was my first real relationship and my only love. She had several bf's before me but she's told me this was the best she had ever had. She's 4 yrs older (I'm 23, she's 27). I really do love her but I don't want to compare her looks to other people's and think that someone looks better in a certain way. I know that's not fair. I realize that looks aren't everything but she expects me to think that she is the most beautiful woman in the world (based on looks alone) and that puts pressure on me. I've made some mistakes and I'm not perfect but I love this girl %26amp; would never cheat on her. Right now I'm just confused.Confused and scared that I've lost the love of my life? Any advice on what to do?
First of all, she needs to realize you are a male and males will ALWAYS look and make comparisons. It sounds like she's a little insecure and needs to know for herself that she is beautiful without needing a man to tell her so. I don't think that you should feel guilty for looking at someone else or liking parts of another female, as long as it is just looking. If you both believe that you were 'made' for each other, than you'll make it work and get over the adolescent insecurities. You were right in saying that looks aren't everything - if her personality fits yours and you guys 'click' well, I wouldn't let go of that for the most beautiful person in the world. Outside beauty is only skin deep.......Confused and scared that I've lost the love of my life? Any advice on what to do?
Man, I know how you feel. I had this same problem a long time ago. I dated a girl for nearly 3 years, but could not help but admire the looks of other women. Just a glance or a thought, nothing more. In return, my gf's self-esteem went downhill.
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We broke up and since then I have long realized that I screwed up. Now that I'm older and wiser, I can date a girl and other women (no matter what they look like or what they're wearing) don't even phase me in the least. I don't judge people's looks anymore.
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I've even been on the other side of it - this one girl sometimes commented on other men's looks (if I asked her or not) and I then knew how shitty it feels. I date a lot now, and I've changed my ways, but no matter how many girls I date no one compares to the one I lost long ago.
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She's moved on, and here I am 32, single, miserable, and lonely. I regret losing her over something that I thought I had no control over at the time (when in fact I did). I was just a jerk, and now I have a life full of regret. Do what you need to get this girl back - before you wind up like me.
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And don't listen to the morons on here who say you did nothing wrong and that it's normal - trust me, they only say that because they do the same thing you do and are trying to make themselves feel better. You have to listen to your own heart, not what friends, family, and strangers tell you.
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You rewarded the wrong person with the ';best answer';. Did you READ any of these other comments?! Listen to these people. You should not compare your gf to anyone! You really should find her the most beautiful. You will learn this over time, but by then it will be too late.
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Why on earth have you given up on true love? Here's what you do - get her back, tell her what she needs to hear (that she IS the most beautiful), and then hang on to her for dear life. Is this really worth losing the best thing that may ever happen to you? Listen to Randy, happihaw,and educatio
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I can't believe you gave up on true love! There are tons of people in this world that will NEVER experience that, let alone experience that twice. If you both miss each other and love each other, then get back together!
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Was this the only problem you had? If so, breaking up was not the right thing to do. The right thing would have been to work things out the best you could. I bet, with time, you will stop looking at other girls and she'll feel more secure (nobody should be compared)
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Again, there are some messed up chicks out there (they lie, cheat, steal, are only into men w/money, drugs, bitchy, the list goes on) - if this was a good woman w/ good values then why give up on her?
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I'd say get over your guilt problem and make her feel like the terrific woman she is. Sounds like you really were happy w/her and loved her. Don't ditch her just so you can be free to view other women. Prob not worth it. Very few good women still left in this world.
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Sad. Really sad. Not only did you ruin your g/f's self-esteem, but then you broke up so that you could look at other women and not feel bad/guilty/etc?! How selfish. Okay, so now you can look and not hurt anyone's feelings. Then what? Seems you thru away a perfectly good relationship.
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Adam - not to mention the women who are already married, engaged, lesbian, or taken. Then rule out the ones you aren't attracted to or will never even get a chance to meet or don't like you back! This girl loved you and you loved her - don't take that for granted.
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If you are that confused, you don't need to be in a relationship now. If you like a girl that much, you need to like and accept all of her and not compare her to others and not think the grass is greener on the otherside. You are making her feel inadequate and that will lower her self esteem. You need to work on yourself before you can be in a relationship.
hmmm... seems in some corner of ur heart u never appreciated ur gf's looks u alwayz dreamed of some beautiful women as ur gf... now as u have found every thing in her except looks , first u were happy but now when u came accross some one who has fallen on u n is beautiful u started comparing ur gf n the other ones looks...
seems u r crazy abt looks... but from ur details it seems u love ur 1st gf more than the second n thats the reason u dont wanna hurt her...
n man every women wishes her man to consider her as the most beautiful one on earth thats not a new thing....
but as u both love each other even after the crises... i would say dont breakup just coz of looks....n yeah if u were satisfied with the 2nd gf u wouldnt have asked this Q...
Dont leave ur 1st gf!!!!!
follow your heart imean you only have one life to live.
And temptation is all around. Be careful
Sounds like you need to stop spending so much time together. Take a week or two to yourself without seeing or talking to your girlfriend. This will help you realize how you really feel, because it seems to me that you may be looking to go in another direction.
that's rough.
i think it's healthy for people to look at the opposite sex, even if you're in a relationship. in my relationship, i tell my boyfriend to look at other chicks to see what he thinks of them, so we can both judge them together (lol), but hey that's just me.
she should realize that you'd never cheat on her and it's okay to look at other women...it's not like you fantasize about them or go after them. you shouldn't feel guilty about looking at other women. there are some gorgeous chicks out there, not to say your girlfriend isn't pretty, or you don't find her beautiful, but everyone has a certain level of beauty and it depends on how she (and you) perceive it.
good luck. the love is still there, it never left. work for it and compromise.
You need to stop voicing what you think of other women. Your ex girlfriend knows that she isn't the most beautiful woman in the world, but she needed to hear that she was the most beautiful woman from you. It's just a thought, but if the boot was on the other foot, would you care for your girlfriend making comparisons between you and handsomer men? It really does bash the confidence.
If you love each other you will resolve this. Or maybe you need time apart so you can see other women, and hopefully discover that your soul mate comes down to more than looks.
I hope everything works out for you.
i see the love is still there between you guys, but her expecting you not to judge when we live in a world where everything is compared to something else its hard not to. you need to let her know that your just looking (im sure she has) and NOTHING will happen. and if she love and trust you than that should be enough.
First off, perhaps you need to take a step back and look at yourself.....unless you are Brad Pitt....you probably have some physical attribute that she might want to be different....HMMM??? But from what you have told she is not looking at other guys and wanting you to look more like them. No one is perfect and our society has brainwashed men in to idealizing the PERFECT WOMEN through constant imaging of such women (i.e. Victoria Secret models and Movie Stars). These women are the exception, and some of them only look that good because of technology!!!
If you TRULY love her you WILL think she is the most beautiful person in the world by looking past her flaws and accepting her for who she is, and for all of the reasons you fell in love with her. And even if she is not the most beautiful women in the world.....MAKE HER FEEL AS THOUGH SHE IS!!
And if she is your TRUE LOVE, do not wait long, or it may be too late.....as someone else may realize how truly beautiful she is!
GOOD LUCK!
